When you are going through a separation you are obviously going to be concerned about the effect that it has on your children. Everyone’s lives have suddenly been turned upside down and everything that we are used to is changing. It can be a very unsettling time for our children, as well as you, so steady as you go, it is important that the children keep a sense of security and familiarity. Creating and maintaining routines can help to do this and also help you and your ex to find a new way of looking after your children.
Why Routines Are Good
Routines give children a sense of safety and security. Children experiencing a separation can feel like their whole lives are falling apart so the routine they have, the better. Establishing routine visitation will help them deal with the separation as will know when to expect to see you again. Maintaining the same daily routine, whether they are with their mother or you, will help ease the transition.
Daily Routine
From the moment that children are babies, establishing a daily routine is a highly beneficial. Children react well to boundaries and knowing what to expect. It can also help with their mental and physical health and sleep patterns. When your child is with you it can be tempting to score points by letting them stay up late or eat lunch in the afternoon, but it is important to maintain their normal routine.
Routine Visitation
Hopefully, you have been able to come to an agreement about visitation. This is not only a good thing for you but also for your children. They will be filled with uncertainty when you no longer live with them and it is important to make then feel as secure as possible. By establishing a regular access pattern they will know that you are still a constant part of their lives.
Discussing Routines with Your Ex
In an ideal world you would be able to have a mature, constructive conversation with your ex whenever necessary. Unfortunately, this is not always the case but you both need to work hard to maintain a good relationship for the sake of the children. Building and breaking routines should not be about control or points scoring, it is about the best interests of your children. There may be legitimate reasons why a routine needs to be changed and you should be able to openly discuss this.
Fortunately I have a good parenting relationship with my ex, If something comes up and I can’t have my child on a certain weekend then I forfeit that weekend and pick up the next one scheduled, this applies to her also. At first this was quiet confronting as it means you will miss two weekends in a row (if you are fortnightly) without swapping but in reality, it works perfectly because I can note on a calendar in pen my days and weekends for the year and they never change. If you are having trouble, consider some Mediation help to get you on the right track.
We acknowledge http://www.separateddads.co.uk/ for some of this content.
As we know the norm has been that when children are born they take on the fathers surname. After divorce, women sometimes change their name back to their maiden name or if they remarry, may change their surname to their new partners surname.
All kids from young to teenagers need the basics of life – like food, warmth, shelter and clothing. But they also need to feel loved and secure. By giving our children all the things they need, we can help them be safe, strong and thrive.
Children love stories about themselves – it helps them feel loved and important. You could make a scrapbook or even a cork pin-board that’s all about your child from the time they were born. Put all sorts of things in/on it, cork boards are a great way to display dreams and positive affirmations:
I have always been concerned about my child being approached by a dangerous person. I cant imagine another instance that I would be more scared of? There was some research done in NSW that showed 95% of attacks on children are from people they know. Which also means we need to educate our kids on the safe places around them like shops, neighbours and who are the safe people in our lives.
There is a lot of debate on whether kids have too much homework these days. Teachers say the idea of homework is not just for revision and continual learning after hours but to prepare them for when they get into year 11 and 12 or even Uni. It’s preparation, so that study is not so much of a shock and they have learned skill around how to actually do it. The question I have heard recently is – are kids more successful in school when parents take an active interest in their homework — it shows kids that what they do is important.
Routines today play a huge part in our family, because our kids really don’t have any control over their day to day life, it can give them an opportunity to feel like they belong in the running of the household and provides a sense of order, control and predictability.
Father’s Day is fast approaching. Few more days to go and we will be celebrating this day with overwhelming gratitude for our dads.
To adults, childhood can seem like a carefree time. But kids still experience stress. Things like school and social life can sometimes create pressures that can feel overwhelming for kids. As a dad, you can’t protect your kids from stress — but you can help them develop healthy ways to cope with stress and solve everyday problems.
Did you know that Bunnings have a whole range of kids craft kits for both girls and boys. There is everything from race cars to pots and saucers. The kits contain everything you will need to complete the project:
When boys are growing up and there bodies start to change, they will have questions about these changes. Below is a response to a commonly asked question that may help you.
You will discover a whole new world of keeping in touch.
3 Places in Sydney Your Kids are Sure to Love
I have to tell you I am biting my fingernails down to the quick trying to narrow this list down to three. There are just so many super fun things for kids to do in Sydney. There are animals galore and so many beautiful parks and playgrounds. Some of which adjoin the amazing beaches. I want to give a little shout out to the museums as they didn’t make the list this time but it was a hard choice not to include them. Many of them have some truly fabulous interactive exhibits that kids really enjoy. I’d highly recommend giving them some consideration when you are tossing up what you would like to do.
Taronga Zoo
What can I say…it’s a damn fine zoo. It has lions and tigers and giraffes and you can get right up close to some of those gorgeous creatures (closer to the giraffes than the lions and tigers for some reason). The zoo is nothing short of splendid and the kids love it. There are a few elephant calves rockin’ around the place at the moment too so go check them out for some uber cuteness.
The animal encounters are really cool. My favourite is feeding the giraffe and tell me what kid wouldn’t like doing that! They give you a photo as part of the cost. It’s a bit of a favourite so book it first thing when you arrive at the zoo.
Hot tip: You can get to the zoo by ferry direct from Circular Key. There are some discounted ferry + zoo passes that are worth checking out. Or if it is a Sunday you can get the Family Funday transport ticket for $2.50 per person (kids under 5 travel free). This allows you transport on all public buses, trains and ferries all day. What a bargain!
Sydney Aquarium
There are big sharks floating about above you and you can see them up close. What’s not to like? Basically the main exhibit here is a big clear tunnel that you wander through where everywhere around you is ocean. You can stand and watch all the lovely sea creatures, like sharks and sting rays, going about their business all day if you want to. Just make sure you let people past as some of them may want to see other things.
It is incredible and kids love love love it.
The other exhibits are very good too. Kids love the tropical fish one and can spend ages hanging around trying to find Nemo.
Hot tip: don’t wander up and pay full price at the door! You will save save save if you book online. There are also some great options like family afternoon passes offering a significant discount. Check their website for details.
Clovelly Beach
In truth you could go to any beach and that would be fun but Clovelly Beach is perfect for families with young kids. It is a small waveless beach that is much more like an ocean pool. The snorkelling is fabulous so don’t forget to pack one! There’s always a tonne of other kids down there so plenty of new friends for your little ones to play with. You can take your own snacks but if you can’t be bothered with packing a heap of stuff then the grub at the cafe is pretty good.
Hot tip: If you go during the week this beach will be much quieter. Buses run from the city to Clovelly, in Sydney’s east, quite regularly. If you travel on a Sunday then you can get the super cheap Family Funday ticket for $2.50 per person (kids under 5 travel free).
Kristy Alexander is a freelance travel writer for HotelClub and busy mum of three with a passion for the outdoors. She recommends the Mercure Sydney if you are looking for a conveniently located hotel close to the hub of Sydney’s public transport.