Why its important for Dads to self care

15/08/2016 By DO 2 Comments

Self-care is essential for your physical well-being and ultimately your sense of happiness every day. Without self-care, your relationships with others can be hurt or less than satisfactory. There are countless forms of self-care that do not need to cost a cent!

A lot of us have such a variety of obligations in life that we neglect to look after ourselves. This is especially valid for fathers (separated or not) who work year round to support their family and children. They have countless responsibilities and spend most of their time working in order to make sure their family remains provided for. Such a lifestyle doesn’t leave even the smallest time for a father to care about himself or dedicate anytime to his hobbies. Individuals who disregard their own particular needs and neglect to prioritize themselves are at threat of more levels of stress, low self-esteem, and feelings of sadness.

With the absense of self-care we are all less ready to handle the stress that comes our way because we’re drained physically and lacking any passion. Then again, put in a more positive manner, we are stronger and more ready to handle life’s stress when we are feeling our best both physically and mentally. A massage or a different type of spoiling will revive you all around.

Once in a while people who invest their energy just dealing with others can be at danger for getting worn out on all the giving, which makes it harder to care for others or themselves. Did you know that intentionally taking care of yourself can improve you as a caretaker for others. Showing others that you care for yourself can remind you and others that you and your needs are essential, as well. Having a very much cared-for body can make you like yourself and your life, and passes on to others your best version of you.

So what precisely is self-care? Self-care is a way to deal with living that joins practices that invigorate you, recharge your own inspiration, and help you develop as a happy man. Making time for yourself every day is essential in looking after vitality and general well-being. There are three segments of self-care: physical, mental/enthusiastic, and profound.

Physical self-care is likely the clearest form of self-care. Going to the Gym consistently, going out for a walk, swimming laps are all great examples of physical self-care. Keeping up a dynamic way of life can help your safe framework, it builds endorphin’s (the “happy” hormone), diminishes stress, and can increase your self-confidence

Mental self-care is just as important. It is simply doing the things you like to do, such as going to the footy, having lunch at a favorite restaurant, meditation, talking to family or friend who cares about you. For somebody suffering mental issues it can be more complex, this may incorporate professional support with regular sessions with a mental health professional, joining a support group, and spending time with friends and family.

Whatever self-care you feel works for you, do and do it often.

Filed Under: Dads Health

Dads saving dollars by DIY at home

07/07/2016 By DO 1 Comment

You don’t need to have a huge knowledge about cars and their parts to maintain a car. A little bit of knowledge and some DIY can save you from spending hundreds of dollars. You can use scheduled maintenance guides, fact sheets and watch instructional videos on YouTube to familiarise yourself with cars, their parts, tools, and accessories. There is a brand new website called Partsales that allows consumers to conveniently purchase parts and accessories that fit their car. All you have to do is enter your vehicle’s make, model, and year into their compatibility tool and you’re on your way. It is definitely a site to visit if you’re in the market for parts and accessories.

With a simple set of basic tools, you can easily replace and repair parts on your vehicle that a mechanic would happily charge you big dollars for. Let’s discuss some easy ways by which you can keep up your car in a very good condition.

How to change your brake pads

Brake shops and mechanics charge hundreds of dollars for changing your brake pads but you will be surprised to know that this is a very simple job and you can do it by yourself. Industry has made a mind set for others that it’s a very tough job to change brake pads but they are much easier to supersede than those old drum brakes. First of all you must have a jack, wheel lung wrench and a jack stand to get under the car and to change or replace the brakes. You must be having pliers and some wrenches also.

Your new brake pads will cost a fraction of the price by DIY although you can compare the prices in market. Lift the wheel off first of all and move out the hardware. Draw out the broken pads and press in the caliper piston. Put in the new pads and set up the hardware again. It will take only one hour to do all wheels.

How to replace the battery?

Among several DIY repairs, replacement of the battery is the easiest one. A battery normally lasts for 5-6 years . If your battery needs to be changed, pick a battery according to your car’s model. You need a set of basic wrenches to swap the battery. You must be careful about the order of the cables you remove and reinstall. Remove the black cable having negative charge first and set up the battery. After replacing the battery install the black cable in last. If you don’t follow the order you will experience a short circuit in the positive terminal of your car.

How to replace spark plugs?

Replacing spark plugs is another very easy task which you can do by yourself. A spark plug wrench is used along the set of regular tools to replace spark plugs. You can search online and use the cars make and model, which can be found in the owner’s manual. This is another great DIY task that will save you a lot of money.

How to interchange a taillight?

Its always a great idea to walk around the car every so often just to confirm that all parts of the car are working properly and they don’t need a repair or replacement. If your vehicle’s headlight or taillight is not working it can affect your safety not to mention your insurance invalid. You will need a person to check the taillight. If any of your car’s light is not working you can easily replace it with the new one. You can find them online too. It’s always best to use cotton or plastic gloves when handling bulbs.

Replacement of air filters

Dealerships and mechanics usually increase the bill by the replacement of air filters with labor and high cost of air filters. Air filters can be fixed quickly and leisurely. In the replacement process, open up the bonnet of the vehicle and with a couple of screws turned and filters interchanged you can save your time and dollars.

There are so many parts and accessories that I’m sure you can DIY by just having a go and a little confidence. Good luck!

Filed Under: Finances, Motor Cars

Since when are Dads not apart of a safety network?

23/06/2016 By DO Leave a Comment

Thanks to one of our active Dads that came across this poster and instantly felt uncomfortable with the underlying message being told to children. It was sent home with the kids from their school in Melbourne. The children were being taught “body safety” (great initiative) that if they feel uncomfortable, frightened, scared or nervous about a situation they have been put in, then talk to a person who is in their safety network? See the hand with 5 fingers and guess who is missing??

Shame on you principle for not ensuring part of the safety network included Dads i.e. Mum and Dad or simply parents.

Filed Under: Fathering, Kids Health, Parenting

It’s a fact that everyone loves babies that is as long as it’s not theirs.

18/06/2016 By DO Leave a Comment

Babies may look like little bundles of happiness but that’s as long as they don’t throw a tantrum or wake you up in the middle of the night every day, testing your patience to the very limits. Here we have noted down some of the pros and cons of having a baby which you can read to realize how big of a deal having a baby really is!

The Pros

You can leave behind a legacy

Probably the best benefit of a baby is that you have someone to carry on your legacy. For most families having a baby is assuring a legacy and taking part in shaping how the next generation is going to be like. Raising a child watching it grow and become a contributing member of society because of the morals and values that you’ve taught makes any parent them happier than they can imagine. But at the same time if you can’t be certain what kind of individual the child will grow up to be and whether you can provide the right guidance for raising a child.

It strengthens family relations—In some cases

For most couples a baby is the embodiment of their love they have for each other. It strengthens their bond as husband and wife as well as bringing the whole family closer. But keep in mind having a baby doesn’t make everything magically “ok”. If you feel like your marriage has already lost its spark having a baby can pretty much make the entire situation worse than before.

A baby makes your life more meaningful

Having a baby means that you have to make someone else your top priority since you no longer will be responsible for only your life or your spouses. A baby is the most fragile being which needs the undivided attention of both partners. The role of a parent starts but never ends even 20 or 30 years down the line. Becoming a parent can also enable you to change yourself for the better, give you the motivation to overcome negative aspects of your personality and enhance the positive ones.

The Cons

It costs more than you can imagine

A major aspect of having a baby is providing for it. Most couples decide on having kids without thinking of the financial responsibility they entail. Raising a kid can cost some serious money and the need of more money only rises as the child grows older. Just by imagining the cost of a single roller or crib you can begin to realize how much it will actually cost you and whether you can efficiently provide that kind of money!

You have no time for yourself

After or before having a baby the entirety of your time will be spent on taking care of it. A baby will cry it’s lungs out to get your attention, not just once but frequently throughout the day. Since a child is so fragile it will require your constant attention, leaving absolutely no time for you to spend on yourself or hobbies.

The chances are after having a baby you won’t be able to have a decent bat or fancy meal for a while because as soon as you leave their side, the baby will start crying forcing you to come back to it. Things only get more hectic when they learn how to talk and walk. This is the point where they start asking a lot of questions doing the most stupid things imaginable, thus requiring even more of your time.

Say goodbye to your current relationship

Parenting is a full-time job that you have to do for the rest of your life. Juggling your job as a parent with your actual job as well as meeting the family’s needs will not just tire you out but can cause you to lose the small amount of time you had to socialize with friends and family! Most couples even reach a point where they become strangers to each other and grow distant from one another in the presence of a child. There’s not a single doubt that raising a child can have its own benefits but that only applies as long as the parents are prepared but for those parents who are unaware and unprepared for the challenges of being a parent having a baby will lead to major distress and confusion and sometime the couples might even have fallout!

The Bottom Line

After all the glam and honeymoon most couples find themselves in a state of stagnation. Some couples decide to have a baby to reignite the flames of passion for their marriage and some remain childless and cherish what they have. But there’s no denying that inexperienced and unprepared parents do a lot more harm than good by having a baby! They need to thoroughly consider what having a baby means the commitment required and how they need to raise it.

Filed Under: Children, Dads Health, Fathering

Want your house to smell amazing?

03/05/2016 By DO Leave a Comment

Who has sweaty gym gear hanging around waiting to be washed, work boots, shoes, school bags, dogs, cats, rabbits, last nights stale food, yesterday beer smells, smelly drain or all of the above, then this video is for you… Its a good project to get the kids involved in. Let us know if you have another idea or if this worked for you? it did for us 🙂

Filed Under: Children, Fathering, Kids Activities

Is this just egotistical, and can courts over rule?

17/04/2016 By DO Leave a Comment

Often we get asked interesting questions, so we nicely ask our professional friends of Dads Online to help provide answers to them. Remember this is not official legal advise as everyone’s situation is different, it is only an experts opinion based upon the information we have. All names and identifying remarks have been omitted.

Question: My 5 year old daughters last name is my name – mums name. However, last year, mum got remarried and wants to change the name to her new married name. I say no, as step dad has no rights to my daughter and isn’t her guardian. There is a long backstory of this behavior and thoughts from stepdad being forced on me. Is this just egotistical, and can courts over rule?

Answer: Its not egotistical, its is a very normal reaction that would upset most Dads. Theoretically, a court could decide in favour of a name change if there is a good argument for it. Depends on whether the mum chooses to initiate proceedings in the Court to try to obtain same. Your daughters name can not be changed unless the mum takes this action and is successful?

Filed Under: Relationships, Separation

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship

09/04/2016 By DO Leave a Comment

Everybody experiences interpersonal relationship issues throughout their lives and there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ relationship.

We have relationships with many different people i.e. partner, children, brothers, sisters, parents, work colleagues, team members, shop owners, relatives, friends of friends, neighbours, teachers etc etc

Having difficulties and some conflict in any relationship is normal. The development of any meaningful relationship takes time and effort from all parties. Throughout the course of people’s lives, relationships play an integral role in defining who people are both to themselves and to others. They are a dynamic and natural part of being human.

The trick is to know what makes a relationship work and lean on those attributes.

Things such as:

Good Communication – people react with honesty and openness
Togetherness – people like to belong, share values and morals
Shared activities – do activities together and have fun such as socialising and playing sport
Acceptance – while sharing some things, you also respect, values and understands individuality and uniqueness
Support – help, encourage, reassure and look after each other
Commitment – each others well-being is a priority for all
Resilience – you can survive adversity and bounce back
Establish routines – that support spending time together

Some great skills to work on in our relationships, developing them would have to bring positive outcomes. How are your relationships going, could you adopt a few more of the ideas above?

Filed Under: Dads Health, Fathering

How to maintain a work life balance

27/03/2016 By DO 1 Comment

As Dads, we all have different views when it comes to maintaining a fair and reasonable balance between our work and our private family life. A father needs to be able to ensure that he puts in enough time and work to progress in his career and keep finances strong to raise his family, however he needs time for his children, their mother and importantly himself also so that he can hold onto some sanity. So how can you find the right balance, and when do you know you’ve succeeded?

Many new dads feel that they need to work overtime, perhaps due to pressure from the boss and colleagues after taking off some well-deserved paternity leave, or from his own expectations of himself in that he needs to be earning more now that he is responsible for another life. Obviously we should prioritise our own family and social life as this reflects better on our health, whereas our employers have the option to sever the relationship with their employee – but we will always be needed by our families.

Outlined below are some tips shared by our readers who feel they have finally come to maintaining the right balance;

Prioritise work during the working hours in the week

If we aim to put in our 100% during the working hours of the week, then we will usually find that our productivity goes up in this time. A quality amount of work can be produced which will reflect well with the boss and other colleagues, and you can rest assured that work is left at the office when you come back home. This allows you to feel mentally relaxed without the pressure of work and once you are in this habit you can then learn to associate your home as your personal time with family and friends, and the office as a place solely to work.

Set aside days off

Some readers pointed out that before they had children, they would pre-plan their time off from work, however many dads have realised that they need some off days available on standby. This is because they may be unpredictable days where perhaps day care is not available, maybe their child or partner is sick and they need extra attention at home or simply they have had a sleepless night and they need time off to recharge or just have a half day so they can attend an important school event.

Dividing the week into early and late nights

If you have a partner and children, they need to spend quality time with you. Some readers stated that it works best for them to be able to finish work early some days, and on other days work late. They are flexible in their work approach yet ensure that the week has an equal balance between late nights and early nights also. Not only does this give you short targets to look forward to, you can then prioritise your work load efficiently and also give the appropriate time and energy to your loved ones.

Do extra qualifications online

Most reader said that when it came to career progressing moves, such as obtaining extra qualifications, that they did them online via massive open online courses and online universities. These degrees are valued just as much by employers providing you are still working hard at work. The major advantage of doing them online is that you can still spend time with your children at home as well as being flexible when it comes to adjusting to your partner’s schedule.

Divide and conquer kids schedules

It’s a perfectly healthy and recommended factor when it comes to raising children that you should let them attend extra-curricular activities. However if you have lots of children, of different age groups and interests then that doesn’t mean you don’t allow them to participate. The simple answer here is that you draw up a schedule that allows you to easily see who is needed when for pick and drop duties, these duties can also be shared if you have an extended family willing to help out such as grandparents or even child minders who don’t mind stepping in. Just because you’re busy at work doesn’t mean the children should be deprived of their rights to participate in new activities and socialise.

Aim to work from home one Day A Week

If possible and your company is willing to let you do this, then you could work from home for at least one day a week. This gives you the time to pick and drop your children from schools and nurseries, or have some dedicated time where you can talk to them, as well as catch up on work in a more peaceful environment on your own terms.

It is essential to maintain a healthy work and life balance as this can not only benefit your own health, your relationships but it will also benefit your career as you will be able to think more rationally and stay focused. If your children feel that you are involved and interested in their lives, they are much more likely to be feeling secure, have higher self-esteem and much fewer social and emotional problems. Having a positive relationship with your children will also positively affect your general health and outlook on life.

Sometimes it is a struggle but if you intentionally make an effort you can find a balance and once a routine sets in, life is better for everyone.

Filed Under: Dads Health, Fathering

What to do if the children’s mother is being destructive

22/03/2016 By DO 7 Comments

Often we get asked interesting questions, so we nicely ask our professional friends of Dads Online to help provide answers to them. Remember this is not official legal advise as everyone’s situation is different, it is only an experts opinion. All names and identifying remarks have been omitted.

Question: My Granddaughter is being used by her mother as a pawn to do whatever she can to destroy my sons time and relationship with his young daughter. When he objects or doesn’t give the mother what she wants there is abuse and yelling.

She lies to my granddaughter who is told her daddy doesn’t want to see her, but in fact he has had weekend visits every weekend since she was 2 years old (she is now 10) and that will not change!

Because of the mothers desire to hurt my Son by being destructive and now even texting my sons partner with abuse. We just cannot take anymore and need some advise on where to go, I cannot afford to go to court but I desperately want a relationship with my granddaughter and my son is not sure where to start in the Court System to at least have some sort of legal standing. I hope you can give me some answers…

Answer: In this instance, it would appear that the best way to proceed is to seek to vary the original Court orders (if there are any). Otherwise, applying to the Court for parenting orders would be the best idea and the orders should include a clause that either party cannot denigrate the other party in the presence of the children (or to that effect).

The only issue is that this is a costly exercise. Other than this, options are to contact places such as Lifeworks and Relationship Australia and see what that can offer in terms of courses in these instances, they generally have great advice for dealing with these exact scenarios.

Filed Under: Dads Health, Separation

Why we should say “No”

11/03/2016 By DO 1 Comment

If you’re not proud of it, don’t serve it.

If you can’t do a good job, don’t take it on.

If it’s going to distract you from the work that truly matters, pass.

If you don’t know why they want you to do this, ask.

If you need to hide it from anyone, reconsider.

If it benefits you but not the people you care about, decline.

If you’re going along with the crowd, that’s not enough.

If it creates a habit that costs you in the long run, don’t start.

If it doesn’t move you forward, hesitate then walk away.

The short run always seems urgent, and a moment where compromise feels appropriate. But in the long run, it’s the good ‘no’s that we remember.

On the other hand, there’s an imperative to say “yes.” Say yes and build something that matters.

Filed Under: Dads Health, Kids Health

Are we spoiling our kids’ with too much sugar?

02/03/2016 By DO Leave a Comment

We love to spoil our kids, and often sugar is used as a reward when they’re behaving well. Sugar is used in many foods to make them taste better. It’s contained in everything from the obvious, such as soft drinks, biscuits, lollies, and cakes, to the less obvious, such as bread, condiments, crackers, and even frozen dinners.

Unfortunately, the fascination with sugar can cause many detrimental health effects. It’s best to understand how it has a negative impact on our bodies first, and then work at slowly eliminating it from our daily lives.

Besides that old, but true saying, it rots your teeth, sugar actually contains no essential nutrients. It’s composed of a crystalline matrix, and unlike almost all other foods, has no vitamins, minerals, or essential amino acids. It does not contain any protein. If you choose to fill up on sugar, it can lead to deficiencies in the body. Sugar is processed from the sugar cane plant. In fact, if you ate sugar cane on its own, it would be far healthier. But it’s nearly impossible to find in the western world, except maybe as processed sticks, which aren’t so healthy either.

Besides the physical affects on the body, there are also the psychological effects too. Sugar can affect mood, and not in a good way. Sugar can work as an addiction on the body. Kids and dads may start craving sugar on a daily basis.

It’s all in the brain. When people eat sugar, the brain releases dopamine, from the accumbens region, which is a feel-good chemical. However, the more often you release this chemical through eating sugar, the shorter the effect can last. This is why the first night you and your child ate a few cookies, and then the next night you ate the whole bag. Harmless? Not over a long period of time.

Ironically, you can release dopamine during other times too, but the effects are healthier and last longer. For example, you can watch a funny movie with your kids, or you can take them to the park to play. These are healthier activities, and the brain knows the difference between an active lifestyle, and sugar.

You may have noticed how your kids can become hyper after eating sugar, and then shortly afterwards, they become cranky and moody. These are the negative effects of too much sugar.

So, how can you reduce sugar in a diet? Focus on more fruits, vegetables, and proteins. Fruits such as berries actually contain natural feel-good compounds, and have the same effect as sugar, except without the addiction or withdrawal symptoms. Switch out sugar for honey or agave syrup. These are natural sweeteners.

Now that you understand the detrimental qualities of sugar on your family’s bodies, you can begin to replace it with healthier choices. Letting the kids run off any extra energy outdoors can only help too.

Filed Under: Kids Health, Parenting