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Things to do in Sydney with the kids

Are you thinking about what to do with the kids this weekend or over school holidays? There are some great Sydney suggestions below.

Hey why not tell us about your favourite activities? Feel free to contribute your ideas and we will include them in our list.

  • Carp are an aquatic pest species which degrade the quality of Parklands’ pond water. Volunteer anglers have been removing Carp in order to manage the population, but why should the adults have all the fun? Meet at the Busby Promontory, near Rose Garden, Centennial Park. 3rd – 12th July between 9am – 12pm. or phone to book  during business hours (02) 9339 6699.
  • Visit the National Maritime Museum and climb a 19th century lighthouse. With a whole host of interactive maritime exhibits, both indoors and outside, the kids will be busy for hours.
  • See Koalas in their natural environment. You can walk through the rainforest and watch the koalas eating and sleeping. There are also kangaroos that you can hand feed, the younger kids will love this one.
  • Walk across the Sydney Harbour Bridge and watch the busy bustling city as it goes about its daily life. Not for the faint hearted!
  • Go bushwalking in Bouddi National Park, this park has a series of small, beautiful beaches beneath forests, steep hills and cliffs; it is a lovely national park suitable for the whole family.
  • Visit Calmsleyhill Farm, it’s a 580 acre working sheep and cattle farm, you can see the cow milking, sheep shearing, working dogs and much more.
  • Take a ferry ride on the magnificent Sydney Harbour, this is truly the best way to see the city’s favourite playground.
  • Go to the Beach; Bronte, Balmoral, Nielsen Park and Shelley Beach are all great kid-friendly beaches. Don’t forget to take the buckets and spades or your boogie boards.
  • Feed the Pelicans at The Entrance. Pelican Feeding is the Central Coast’s most popular tourist attraction and operates at 3.30pm daily, 365 days a year come rain, hail or shine.
  • Visit Vera’s Water Garden, every child likes to dangle their feet in water, run through water sprays and climb all over things, and Vera’s Water Garden has all this and more.
  • Picnic at Bicentennial Park, the park has bbq’s, lovely picnic areas, 2 children’s playgrounds, boardwalks and cycle ways.

Keep in touch – Skype

You will discover a whole new world of keeping in touch.

There has been some previous posting on the topic of “keeping in touch”, we thought another good way is to use Skype.  Skype is a software application that allows users to make voice or video calls over the Internet for free.  It is as simple as creating a free account with Skype.  You simply log on, select “Get Skype” from the home page and choose the computer system your using from the drop down menu i.e Windows or Mac?.  Follow the prompts, download and Skype runs a video tests and audio tests and then you are set to go.

Its a good idea to include a set of head phones so that you can chat without the worry of interruption.  Its that easy!

If you can, set up your child with their own Skype profile (It just needs a name and email account only)  Don’t be too worried about the profile info, there are ways you can keep their details private i.e. don’t fill out the profile info.  You can take extra precautions and now it might be a good time to discuss Internet safety.  Some other tips on Internet safety are as follows:

  • Parents should monitor their children while they are utilizing Skype.  If necessary, keep the computer in a common area, like the living room, or if the Skype is only for communication between yourself then you should have no concerns. They should turn it on to accept your Skype and off when you have finished.
  • Discuss “stranger danger” with your children, especially how to avoid contact with strangers online and what to do if one tries to communicate with them on the computer.
  • Make sure your child’s account is protected with a unique, long password that includes a combination of letters numbers, and characters.
  • Update your privacy settings for receiving communications. For a PC, open Skype and click “Tools.” Then go to “Options” and “Privacy.” On a Mac, open Skype and click “Preferences” and then “Privacy.”
  • If you want to keep it as private as possible, leave your profile completely blank.
  • If you think your account may have been compromised, change your Skype password immediately.
  • If a questionable incident occurs (like the one described above), contact your local authorities.  Be sure to save all pertinent information for the police, such as the predator’s user-name, time and date of the incident, and any other details about the conversation itself.

The Equipment

If they have complete access to a computer that’s great, if they don’t, you may be in a position to purchase a small laptop for them with internet access and built in camera are usually standard.  Laptops can be relatively inexpensive these days and a WiFi remote Internet cards are pretty cheap.

Lap-tops can be sourced through Officeworks or JB Hi FI for as little at $350. A wireless WiFi card can be as little as $15 a month through Dodo mobile broadband and if it is only used for your Skyping then that should be completely adequate.  You will be able to set up both your own and your child computer, chat and get approval from their mum to use Skype during the week  and if all is agreed to then it’s the next best thing to being there!

Party Sausage Rolls

Grab the kids to help you in the kitchen and make these yummy sausage rolls.
There is nothing better than cooking with kids, its so much fun 🙂

Makes 24

Ingredients
500g sausage mince
2 tablespoons tomato sauce
2 tablespoons barbecue sauce
3/4 cup fresh breadcrumbs
2 teaspoons mustard powder
1 small brown onion, grated
1 medium carrot, peeled, grated
3 sheets frozen puff pastry, partially thawed
Tomato sauce, to serve

Method
Preheat oven to 200°C/180°C fan-forced. Line 2 large baking trays with baking paper.

Combine mince, tomato sauce, barbecue sauce, breadcrumbs, mustard powder, onion and carrot in a bowl.

Cut each pastry sheet in half. Shape 1/2 cup mince mixture into a sausage shape. Place along 1 long side of 1 pastry half.
Roll up pastry to enclose filling.
Using fingertips, pinch pastry to seal.
Cut into quarters. Place, seam side down, on 1 prepared tray, 5mm apart. Repeat with remaining mince mixture and pastry.

Bake for 35 minutes or until golden and cooked through. Serve with tomato sauce.

Enjoy!

Losing friends through separation

Yep, you’re a great guy, have been a popular member of your friendship groups, have had a full table of friends over for dinner, met friends down the beach, gone to the movies with a group, maybe even taken an overseas holiday to Bali with those same friends. You think life with friends is great, well buckle up and hold on. You are about to open a new chapter of your life!

Separation often makes life complicated and unfortunately you could lose friends. This comes at a difficult time because much of our health and well-being comes from the people around us as they play a large part in your support system.  And now when all turns to crap, some of them are nowhere to be seen, depending on the circumstances of your separation for example: if you had an affair, there will be some friends that will judge you and make a decision on whether they support you going forward.

Some reasons why you might lose friendships are:

  • They judge you as not being an honest person and having same values
  • They believe you brought this tough time onto yourself
  • There own relationship is not great and you could be contagious
  • They choose who they will support, you or your ex (even if they have been your friend)
  • You are now “John Doe” the separated guy and they are not sure how to relate to you
  • You now have different interests and priorities and they just don’t relate
  • A single dad just does not fit in with their idea of a friendship group

Whatever the reasons, some friends will leave you like rats leaving a sinking ship!

There has certainly been enough going on hasn’t there!  Let’s not add to this disillusionment by wasting time and energy worrying about what cannot be changed.  Focus on positives, get out and spend time on yourself.  In the past you have probably had friends you would not have chosen, now you can choose exactly the friends you want to spend time with.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with dropping out for a while and just hanging out with yourself, in some ways it can be quite therapeutic to find yourself again. So long as it is not forever (as some fall into that trap of hanging out there and never leaving) finding new friends can be uncomfortable but you need to feel the fear and do it anyway.  Susan Jeffers author of a book of the same title “Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway” has some great tips on getting your assertiveness back and to think more positively about getting out there again.

Initiator versus non initiator

Leaving the family home is much harder if it is initiated by your partner.  Interestingly some research conducted in 2003 showed that only 32% of all divorces were initiated  by men.  It makes sense that your partner is probably coping better than you.  This is not to say she is having a better time.  Research shows that before separation the initiator’s stress levels were higher than those of  the non initiator and after separation they reduced and the non initiators increased.

It’s an emotional roller coaster for both parties.  Once the separation is initiated it can spark different emotions such as feeling of guilt, actions can be misread and feelings of anger due to rejection.  The non initiator can feel hopeful and could suggest reuniting and even continue to act as if they are still in a working relationship. Then the feelings can turn to rejection and possible shame.

To avoid mixed messages, Relationships Australia and Mensline Australia recommend that you are clear on exactly where your relationship is at so that you don’t get caught up in confusion.  They suggest that you:

  • Restrict contact with your former partner to one call a week, fortnight or month
  •  Restrict socialising or going out together
  • Limit doing things for them
  •  Do not engage in sexual activity with them
  • Avoid confrontation

Remind yourself that there is no evidence that your former partner wants to get back with you unless they specifically say so.

This is not to say that separated people can’t get back together.  However, it can take time and usually follows a long period of non-contact.  The emotional bonds created by the original relationship takes a long time to disentangle.

 

Remember if it’s over it’s over. Hanging on to false hope only prolongs the pain and distress.

 

Thank you to Relationships Australia and Mensline for their insights.

Cyber Bullying

“Adults use the Internet, but children ‘live’ it”
John Bertrand, Chairman of
The Alannah and Madeline Foundation.

Young people see digital technology – including the Internet, social networking services and mobile phones – as a normal part of their social life and connecting with their friends, as well as sourcing information and for education purposes.

I remember a friend who told me that the primary school where their daughter attended set up an email account for all the students – remember they are primary school aged children!  When the children received their own personal email address they (as young people do) shared passwords! Friends logged into each others email account and sent emails out to their friends saying things like “I hate you” “you are ugly” “I don’t want to be your friend anymore” etc.

How could that school think for a minute that children could handle the responsibility associated with email and understand the consequences of actions like that is beyond me? You have probably guessed that the email accounts were shut down within a week.  Ask your school if they are registering for the program, I certainly will be! If not, what measures are they taking to educate and protect children within their school from Cyber Bullying?

This News update is to let you all know that The Alannah and Madeline Foundation in conjunction with  The Victorian and Queensland State Governments are rolling out a Cyber Bullying education program called “eSmart” for schools.  The uptake of the program has been huge with over 1000 schools signing up within weeks of it being launched.

A little about The Alannah and Madelaine Foundation,  The Centre Against Bullying and eSmart.

The Alannah and Madeline Foundation is a national charity protecting children from violence and its devastating effects.

They care for children who have experienced or witnessed violence and run programs which prevent violence in the lives of children. They play an advocacy role and are a voice against childhood violence.

The National Centre Against Bullying (NCAB) is a peak body working to advise and inform the Australian community on the issue of childhood bullying and the creation of safe schools and communities, including the issue of cybersafety.

NCAB is made up of a number of experts and works closely with school communities, governments and industry. It plays an important role in speaking out for children and advocating for their right to be free from bullying and other forms of violence.

About eSmart

eSmart equips everyone in the school community with the skills and knowledge they need for smart, safe and responsible use of technology.

eSmart helps schools to embed a culture of positive technology use, create policies and procedures, gain access to evidence-informed resources and track their progress in becoming eSmart.  Follow this link to more  information for Parents on eSmart and here for more Information for Schools

“As a parent, I would know that when I enrol my child in an eSmart school, it is a school where cybersafety and bullying are dealt with effectively. The teachers will know how to deal with incidents, children will look out for each other and can safely report bullying. As a parent I would know who to go to if my child was involved in anything risky online.” Dr Judith Slocombe, CEO, The Alannah and Madeline Foundation.
For more information on what Cyber bullying might look like follow this link.

Windy road ahead but keep going

There is at least one common thread amongst us, we are all trying to raise our children and be the best Dad that we can be.  There’s no need to go it alone or feel that it is hopeless or you are a second rate carer compared to their mum.  We know, mums have been paving the way in child care for generations and most of them doing a great job. There is absolutely no reason why we cannot be as competent in all aspects of child care as mums.  I found, you just have to want to!

When thinking about how we can overcome some challenges whilst we take on the most important job that we could ever do – raising children to be good adults.

Is…

Remember to look after your health both mentally and physically as we know too well parenting requires both physical and mental effort.

Don’t be the stereotypical male and attempt to go it alone, it’s too hard, there are people you can ask for help, other dads, friends, family and today there is so much information provided online there is no excuse for not knowing – you just have to “Google your questions” may I even suggest to ask your question here, I am sure you will get hundreds of good people wanting to help.

Be kind to yourself and interact with other adults, we all need adult conversation. I remember going on holidays with the kids and by the end of the holiday as much as I loved it, really enjoyed hanging out with some adults when I got home.

If you have lost friends through separation as we all know we do, get involved with a hobby club, walking club, sporting club or some “people” interaction activity, it’s great to just chat.

There is one area that I feel is always a challenge and will post more on this later.  But for now it is “discipline” When we separate we feel we have put our kids through enough change and are reluctant to argue with them or to enforce rules.  The best way forward would be to agree on a basic set of rules with their mother that are enforced in both homes and then stick to them.  They soon get use to them and unhappiness is replaced by routine and happiness returns.  The short term struggle is worth the effort as you are teaching them values, respect and discipline to enable them to step into adulthood knowing what is right and wrong.

Because all our situations are different and there are degrees (more or less) of the above, one thing is for sure, if we are consistently trying to improve our life and our children’s – you will succeed.

Our kids are the main event

I was never allowed to participate in parenting, If I dressed my kids they would be too cold or hot, if I prepared a meal it was too spicy, when I cleaned their room it wasn’t done correctly? Maybe she was right? But that all changed when we separated.

It became my time to engage in parenting and to perform fatherly duties without the aggravation and arguments that came from a bad marriage.  I was able to dedicate time to getting better at all the things supposedly I was doing wrong?

Today I get no criticisms from the kids around how clean the house is (it is clean), what the meals taste like and my overall parenting skills…OMG maybe I got better! I dedicated a lot of time to practicing being a good parent and learning all the skills of being a great dad.   There is a good book called “Wednesday evenings and every other weekend” it has a story around dedicating time to the task of being a good parent.

The story talks about being a responsive parent and to clear your schedule and your mind of everything except your child, I think about this in way of being 100% present when ever you are with them.  It takes practice and even then I am guilty of not achieving 100% all the time.  The book has a good analogy: The circus understands this principle.  There might be three rings, but when the star appeared there was only one center ring – the only part of the big tent that was lit.

Our kids are the main event, the top of the bill, the one you have come to see.  Have you paid for a ticket to the big top?  Absolutely! You have spent thousands to be able to spend time with your child, to say nothing of your emotional investment.  Now sit back and fully enjoy that which you have given so much to see.  This is the V.I.P performance. At this moment you are the only ticket holder. You can find this book at Amazon:  “Wednesday evenings and every other weekend”  a second hand book can cost .12 cents with only $4 shipping, definitely worth a read.

It was my opportunity to parent, I loved showing the world that I was good at it and that dads are as capable and competent as mums.  I didn’t feel like I was missing out anymore,  I loved planning our weekends and including downtime on the couch just hanging out.  I worked hard at putting all the disappointment behind me and concentrated on our main event.

We know that divorce smacks the smile of your face and we feel run over by a semi trailer – No a B double! 🙂 But finding the quickest way to get over it and finding your smile will be the best thing for you and your kids.  If you feel that you are hardly ever present when your kids are with you, it might be worthwhile seeing a physiologist to help you get to a better place so that when the kids are with you they are the main event.  I did a couple of times, it helped me sort out crap and to be more fun with my kids.  There is a good health directory for practitioners in your area if you feel it could help.

Royal Botanical Gardens Melbourne

The picturesque setting of the Royal Botanic Gardens Melbourne extends over 36 hectares and displays more than 50,000 plants. Diverse plant collections, year-round events, unique tours, and a reputation as one of the world’s finest gardens has made the Royal Botanic Gardens one of Melbourne’s most popular tourist attractions and a great place for Dads to walk, sit and play around with the kids and get some air for a few hours.

Where: Birdwood Avenue South Yarra, Victoria 3141
Distance by car: An easy 5 minute drive from CBD Melbourne
Contact: 03 92522300
Website: http://http://www.rbg.vic.gov.au/rbg-melbourne
Open: 7.30am to sunset every day of the year
Payment: entry is FREE
Kids: Absolutely

There two cafes operating at the Royal Botanic Gardens Melbourne.

1. The Terrace (within the gardens by the lake)
2. Observatory Cafe (outside opposite the war memorial)

Out door seating is limited and it can be expensive if your purchasing food and drinks. So if it’s a nice day pack a picnic rug and lunch and find yourself a beautiful position on one of the many grassy lawns.

Busy Dad

Busy DadsIt was a bit of a shock suddenly having to think about everything!  Many of the family tasks were previously shared such as cooking, gardening, supermarket shopping, planning holidays, weekend entertainment, reading, homework, buying birthday gifts, cleaning bathroom, rooms and carpets and floor, washing, ironing, folding, purchasing clothes, bill paying, making school lunches, clothing alterations, planning calendar, household repairs, driving children to school and friends homes  etc. Phew are you tired yet?

There were many things to take into consideration and I needed to understand what my skill gaps were? For me it was cooking, I knew how to prepare spaghetti bolognaise and chicken stir-fry but we are all too familiar with that saying “who wants chicken every night”. I found taste.com.au became my best friend.  It enables me to search 1000’s of recipes and provides ingredients, method and allows you to create a shopping list, there are easy meals and some more challenging but honestly there is something for everyone.

If you’re at all like me, I found that I was time poor at the end of the day and always rushing around when it came to preparing meals, so I got into cooking a couple of meals, casseroles or soups on Sunday afternoons and then I had a couple of meals during the week that just needed to be warmed up?  Saves a lot of time and left me more time to spend with the kids.  I also found a BBQ cooking course at BBQSchool It was a fun half day and came in handy by giving me an understanding of cooking meat and a variety of vegetables too, we BBQ 2-3 times a week during the summer months.

To keep on top of things I dedicated all my spare time to managing the jobs that needed doing.  A couple of days before the visit I would clean the house, think about meals, go shopping for food and basically just get ready.  It really is like getting for a visit from royalty and I want everything to be right.

Depending on the balance of what was shared , the above could be more or less than what you are normally used to,  it was definitely more than what I was used to.  I remember employing a cleaner for a big clean once a fortnight and had them come the day before the kids arrived, this took away one job and allowed me to concentrate on other things, that became an unnecessary expense and I cancelled them and became good at it myself.  Putting aside dedicated time helped me to get these jobs done,  how have you found balancing all of this, any tips?

 

 

Hey dad, why is the sea salty?

Have you ever been caught out not knowing how to answer one of those tough question, like many of us, a great response has always been “good question, lets look it up on Google”.  Below are a few of those questions and answers that we found on Google 🙂

 

HOW IS ELECTRICITY MADE?
Answer – It comes from magnets! In the early 1800s, Michael Faraday discovered “electromagnetic induction”, which is the scientific way of saying that if he moved a magnet through a loop of wire, the wire would become electrified.  In 1882, Thomas Edison opened the first full-scale power plant in New York City. Edison’s electric generator was a bigger version of Faraday’s basic experiment; a big magnet rotates around a wire to produce an electric current.  Today’s power plants are bigger and controlled by computers, but the basic process is still the same as it was nearly 120 years ago.

WHY IS THE SKY BLUE?
Answer – White sunlight is really a lot of different colours of light mixed together. Some colours of light travel through air and dust better than others. Red goes a long, long way.  But blue light gets bounced around a lot. Our blue sky is blue light that has been bounced out of sunlight by gazillions of molecules of air.

WHERE DOES THE WIND COME FROM?
Answer – Wind is “AIR IN MOTION” (or Moving Air) and is made by differences in the AIR PRESSURES. Warm Air rises, pushes up … (like when you open a heated oven’s door and the heat bellows out and goes straight UP to the ceiling like helium filled balloon.) Warm Air is light in weight. While on the other hand, Cold Air is heavy in weight and keeps closer to the earth’s surface. So wind is ‘made’ when the sun heats the earth’s surface and the air near the surface become warmer and lighter.  This warm air rises and while it is rising, cold/cooler air replaces where the warm air left.  Then that cool air is eventually heated and rises, too this process is continual. This movement of air is called, you guessed it…WIND!

WHY IS THE SEA SALTY?
Answer – The sea is salty because the rivers that flow into it wash salts and other minerals out of the ground.  These dissolve in the rivers and the rivers then flow into the sea. Another source of salt is the sea bed. As the Sun evaporates the water from the sea to make clouds, it leaves the salts and minerals behind, so the sea is much saltier than rivers and lakes.  Even though it rains on the sea as on land, this isn’t enough to dilute the salt.

HOW DO PLANES FLY IN THE SKY?
Answer – It may seem unbelievable that a heavy plane can get up into the air, but it’s all down to the clever shape of its wings.  If you look at a plane close up, you’ll see that the top of each wing is curved and the bottom is flat.  As the plane moves forward powered by the engine (in the same way your parents’ car goes when they turn on the engine), air pushes up on the flat bottom of the wing harder than it pushes down on the curved top.  This is what causes it to lift up into the air and then stay there.

WHAT MAKES THUNDER?
Answer – When you see a flash of lightning in the sky, it is often followed by a crashing boom of thunder.  This is because when lightning moves through the sky, it heats up the air to thousands of degrees centigrade – that’s hotter than the surface of the Sun. The heated-up air rushes away into the cooler air surrounding it.  This moving air makes a loud bang, and that is what we call thunder.

WHY DO YOU BLINK?
Answer – The very front of your eye is made of an extremely sensitive see-through screen rather like the windscreen on your parents’ car.  It’s very important that it stays clean and moist so that you can see as well as possible. So every ten or 20 seconds, your eyelids close, spreading a thin layer of tears over your eye which washes off any bits of dust or anything else that may have got into it, like a car’s windscreen wiper with squirty screen wash.  If we didn’t blink so much, we wouldn’t be able to see properly, so it’s lucky we do!

WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?
Answer – You know chicks come from eggs and plants come from seeds? Well, humans are very special because we come from an egg and a seed.  The dad has the seed inside his body and the mum has the egg in hers, and they give each other a massive cuddle because they love each other so much, and that amazing big hug is like two pieces of a jigsaw fitting together, or two bits of Lego.  That way, the dad’s seed can meet the mum’s egg, and it makes a baby that will be born nine months later.

WHAT HAPPENS TO US WHEN WE DIE?
Answer – WHEN we die, we go back into the earth and the air and the plants, and become a part of all the world again.  Imagine a leaf unfurling bright green in the spring, and then stronger and darker in summer, then turning orange and falling to the ground in autumn.  In the winter, it melts down into the earth to give its goodness back to what will grow next spring. I think our life is like that.  But because human beings love each other, all of us live on in the memories of people we have known.

WHERE DOES WATER COME FROM?
Answer – Most scientists think the Earth’s water came from water-rich asteroids (really tiny planets) and comets raining down on the planet when it was young.  Others think the oceans were home-grown – they may have formed because the young Earth had a thick blanket of a gas called hydrogen, which reacted with chemicals in the Earth’s surface to form lakes and seas.

 

These are just some of the tough questions from children, if you have some experiences or have other answers, share them here.

Reconnecting after absence

Reconnecting after absence I found sometimes tricky, all I wanted was to pick up my daughter and start the weekend exactly where we left off (a fortnight ago) I was excited!

On occasion this was possible,  depending on what age she was at there were other factors. If it was early ages, I found sometimes that she would be quiet for a while and would not talk much other than yes/no. I had lots of practice asking non polar questions i.e. what was the best thing you did this week with your friends? or What books have you been reading lately?  and which one do you like the best?

There are reasons for quietness, things like: being tired, quiet for quiet sake, your ex has been verbally bashing you in earshot of the children (very uncool) so they feel conflicted, they need a little time to reconnect and sometimes they are confused.

It was always a non pressure time though, we just took our time and I spoke of what I’d been up to, things we might do over the weekend and it seemed to warm up.  What are your experiences?