Kids Health Archives - Page 2 of 5

When you just cant be there!

20/05/2017 By DO 6 Comments

If you’re separated or divorced and don’t have a good access arrangement, this might help you stay better connected.

Missing your child and feeling like they’re missing out on you is a heavy weight to carry. Kids are resilient and I found that if they are loved and cared for at both houses then they grow up stable. That doesn’t help the feeling of loss and grief that a Dads have to bare during the times they are absent.

One area that I have always been interested in and a keen participant is…keeping in-touch in between the times you are together and letting my child know that they are top of mind even if you can not be together for a week or two?

I found a great way to keep in-touch during the absent times and it became a bit of a hobby.

Wherever I happened to be, if there was a card shop or newsagency, I would always walk in and look for a card just to say “hi” There are some really nice and creative cards on the market, there would always be a different card that I thought my child would like. Over the years there would have been shoe boxes full of cards that I had sent and I doubt that I ever doubled up on the one card 🙂

Kids like to get mail from the postman, it makes them feel special

I would send a card once a week, the first card I would post just after my access visit as it would take a day or two to arrive. I would write simple things about the fun we had that weekend and how much I loved doing things together and sign off that I loved her.

The card on the second week would simply talk about how is her week going, how is school? and I am looking forward to the weekend and will pick you up at normal time.

I never mentioned any comment about missing her as I did not want her to feel sad in any way, I made the card always happy, positive and upbeat.

You can get personalized stickers with your initials to seal the back of the envelope or better still both initials or an emblem that they’ll know instantly the card is from you. Click here for a supplier

Have you guys tried that or what are some of the other things you’re doing?

This post was first published in 2012 and updated in 2017.

Filed Under: Children, Dads Health, Kids Health, Separation

The secret for an argument free zone

13/03/2017 By DO 1 Comment

I always wondered when the debating of simple tasks and requests would start or unnecessary attitude, i can tell you its around 10-12 then buckle up at 13+.
Prior to that, they are beautiful pliable sweethearts that allow you to guide them, take them and pick them up from anywhere and they follow instruction without question (their still beautiful).

Now is chalk and cheese, its another stage that will pass and we will eventually move on… but boy, it can be frustrating, stressful, challenging and hair pulling crazy (if I had any) during those years. I have experienced lying straight to my face over the simplest things, not taking responsibility for actions like loosing keys, public transport cards and keeping their room tidy. We know that teenagers go through a growing up phase and test their weight and Independence with parents.

They do this knowing that the worst thing that will happen is they get a verbal telling off or loose there phone privileges for a day, all pretty soft punishment and i imagine in their mind not enough to curve the behavior?

I think when kids start questioning parents they are trying to figure out what is right and what is wrong because they are starting to become a little more knowledgeable in the world. Although very annoying and frustrating for us parents, its important to remember to keep our composure (don’t fight rudeness with rudeness or yelling with yelling), remind them of the boundaries and politeness they need to show other people and don’t bite back.

I would always keep on carrying out consequences such as reduced time for TV, Loose mobile phone/iPad usage, Early to bed and let them know this will happen if it continues so there are no surprises when it does.

A tip for a argument free zone, is, I do not expect 100% good behavior during these years (it’s about your expectation). I accept 80%, so during these years they can have their own room 20% messier than normal (nowhere else) 20% more attitude without being disrespectful, 20% more moody and they can have that in the quiet of their own bedroom. It takes the pressure off everyone because I feel if we are looking for perfection you will not find it anywhere and it will cause ongoing arguing, so just give them a little slack.

I was told once that everything we do for our children should be a gift. We should not expect anything in return! i.e. we should not expect good behavior because we cook, wash and clean for them. If you expect this then don’t do it. Do these things for them out of love.

Its always a great idea to explain what is acceptable and its a discussion you will not only have once...When your beautiful child says ? Get off my back! or Shut up!? they have often heard it said on their favorite TV shows or possibly from the friends they’re hanging around with. So be clear about what is and isn’t okay. Tell them, it’s fine to say that she’s angry or tired, for instance, or that she doesn’t feel like talking at the moment. But name-calling, yelling, or telling you to go away is unacceptable.

So there is no need to throw the towel in, its important that your kids know that you will always be in the game regardless of their behavior. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it will arrive sometime around 18+. Our kids feel the freedom they have been craving. They are getting into full or part-time work, going to Uni, getting their license and feel what its like to have more independence. So turning human again at 18 plus is not to far away for some but for others it feels like a million years 🙂

Its important you don’t let the outburst episodes eat into you, remember its a phases and a time that will pass so don’t buy into the terrible behavior. Roll with it, respond calmly and be kind to yourself even if others aren’t being kind to you. Self-care is critical during these year, treat yourself, find peaceful time away from the kids, talk to a counsellor. Do what ever it take to stay in the game without dissolving your relationship with your child because its not personal, its very normal and happening across millions of homes.

Its a stage like all others stages of growing up and they are completely aware of it too (It’s not easy for them either). Love them unconditionally and be as tolerant as possible, the stage will pass.

Filed Under: Dads Health, Daughters, Fathering, Kids Health, Sons

The importance of encouraging good oral hygiene at both homes

23/01/2017 By DO Leave a Comment

When kids have two homes their regular routines can often go out the window; one parent may well be more likely to allow more TV time than the other, for example, or prefer eating out to cooking at home. However one routine that it’s important doesn’t get lost during the change-over process is teeth cleaning and good oral hygiene, particularly amongst younger children. The noticeable long term habits of having a good teeth cleaning routine mean it’s worth the effort of establishing good habits now, even if your children are reluctant. Here are some hints and tips for encouraging good oral hygiene, and helping your kids form healthy dental habits that will last a lifetime:

Provide Help and Support

Many parents believe that simply providing access to a toothbrush and toothpaste is enough to encourage good oral hygiene habits, but in reality you need to be much more involved than that. Dental experts recommend that you should physically brush and floss your child’s teeth for them until they are at least six years old (and have the coordination skills to competently and consistently tie their own shoe laces). You should clean their teeth for them for at least two minutes every morning before breakfast and every evening before bedtime, using a fluoride based toothpaste and an age appropriate tooth brush. Once you have cleaned their teeth for them, encourage your child to then brush their teeth independently for another minute: this will build their confidence and encourage them to develop the skills they will need when they are old enough to brush their teeth independently. Once your child is over the age of six you should still supervise their teeth cleaning, to ensure they are brushing regularly and with good technique

Have Everything You Need in Your Home

When kids are switching from one home to the other it’s easy for things to be left behind, however if they forget their toothbrush this could give them the excuse their looking for to have an extended break from teeth cleaning. Given the equipment needed for good dental practice is so inexpensive, why not have everything they need permanently in your home? Buy them a tooth brush, tooth paste, and dental floss that they have constant access to. Why not take them shopping and let them choose their own? Toothbrushes are now available in a wide range of colours, designs, and even featuring their favourite cartoon characters, which could help to make teeth cleaning time a little more fun.

Model Good Habits

Children learn their behaviours by watching their parents and modelling on them, so it’s important to practice what you preach. Clean your teeth thoroughly morning and night, and take care of your smile. Why not clean your teeth at the same time as your child’s, so that you can form the healthy habit together? Whilst regular dentist visits can be expensive, particularly if you don’t have dental coverage, it’s important that you visit the dentist regularly and that you take your child to the dentist regularly too. Dentist trips are no fun for anyone, and your child is likely to be reluctant and apprehensive, but it is the best way of ensuring your child better understands the importance of taking care of their teeth, and of dealing with any dental problems as soon as they arise.

Talk About What Will Happen If They Don’t Brush

It can be difficult to deal with a reluctant tooth brusher, and most parents don’t relish the thought of having to hold down their distressed child so they can brush their teeth, so finding other strategies to encourage good oral hygiene is preferable. Talk to your child about cavities and tooth decay, explaining how germs will affect their smile and that once teeth have been damaged by decay they cannot be repaired: if your child is a visual learner then showing them some images of damaged smiles and decayed teeth online might well help to drive your message home. Good oral hygiene is a lifelong habit that needs to be formed as soon as possible, so it’s important to use whatever tools you have in your armoury to get your child brushing every day.

Filed Under: Dads Health, Fathering, Kids Health, Parenting

A must watch: Simon Sinek – Millennials in the work place

13/01/2017 By DO Leave a Comment

We live in a world that is consumed by technology and social media. Relationships suffer, work and our ability to cope with everyday stresses are tough for our children. Children born post 1982 have been brought up in a new and potentially damaging era, a time never seen by their parents. Mr Simon Sinek talks about how we have become this addicted society to social media, why it is so damaging and how we can change it and make life more personal, enjoyable, develop meaningful relationships and be more satisfied at work. Something our children must learn and its starts with us! A very interesting and en-lighting video discussion on what we can do. It will be the best 18 minutes you spend this year 🙂 Oh, and put your phone AWAY when you watch it – unless of course your watching from your phone LOL

Filed Under: Dads Health, Kids Health, Parenting, Relationships, Video

Managing depression whilst studying

03/01/2017 By DO Leave a Comment

Depression gets a bad rap for a lot of things, which to be fair is pretty reasonable because living with depression is pretty shit. Especially when it comes to exam time, and everyone seems to be bragging about how much study they’ve done, and you can’t even get the energy to make a study plan. This can be ten times worse for repeat exams, as everyone is out enjoying the summer, and you’re at home just staring at your laptop and praying for motivation to fall from somewhere.

Depression plays havoc with your concentration levels, affecting your focus, memory and the ability to sit still and pay attention to something for more than 5 minutes. Or at least, that’s how I find it. Sometimes I get bursts of motivation and I can bring myself to study for a decent half hour, but even then it isn’t easy. Making revision plans doesn’t work, trying to avoid distractions is just a ridiculous suggestion and time is pretty hard to manage because depression is hard to manage, and it doesn’t always abide by time schedules or deadlines.

I used to be really good at studying, I love learning and since I’ve become affected by depression, the thing I’ve struggled with most is not being able to study. I feel lazy, and ungrateful, and despite how hard I worked to get into college in the first place, I feel like by not being able to study, I’m wasting my college place, and all the money that has been spent on it. Depression affects your ability to enjoy the things you used to love doing, so it’s blatantly obvious that it’ll do even more to the things that you know you have to do, but you might not enjoy. Due to this, I don’t enjoy a lot of stuff that I used to do, so when I find things I like, I tend to do them instead of studying. Procrastination is a massive part of my life, and I have wasted so many hours watching Geordie Shore and H2O: Just Add Water, instead of sitting down and going over notes.

I’m repeating exams that I failed because I was in a rough enough place when I took them, and I just didn’t have the spare energy to study, and now I’m back in the same situation. I think there’s a massive amount of pressure on people to go to university and graduate with a decent degree, and when people fail exams, the typical response is “Get your head down, and cop on”. It’s hard for people to understand living with depression if they have never had to, and so some people don’t get how difficult it can be for people with mental illnesses to actually “get their head down”. Studying is hard for most people, and exams are a rough time for everyone, so with added pressure, it’s ten times worse.

Sometimes I wish I could just be accepted into next year without having to study, because I love my degree, and I wouldn’t be able to afford repeating the year. I know I’m not the only one struggling, and I would love it if we were all a bit more honest on social media. It’s natural for us all to compare what we see on Facebook, where people show off their best sides, but every once in a while it would be nice to see some honesty, especially when it comes to things that most of us will deal with. I’m very open about my struggles with anxiety, but sometimes I’m almost embarrassed to talk about my depression, which is ridiculous.

It’s healthy to talk, and many people in Australia suffer from depression, so you won’t be the only one talking.

We have some of the highest suicide rates in the world. The conversation has been repeated so many times, and we made some incredible strides fighting against the mental health cuts in the budget this year, but we need to do more. As difficult as it is, I think we need to talk more about our feelings. It’s even harder for guys to talk about their feelings because of the ridiculous stereotypes surrounding masculinity and emotions. Suicide rates in young men between ages 18 and 24 is 3 times higher than females. Having depression, or other mental health problems are not something to be ashamed of. If you don’t have any mental health problems, that doesn’t make you any less entitled to speak up if you’re having a bad day. It can sometimes be totally isolating, and you deserve to have someone to talk to.

There are many supports for mental health problems in universities, so if you’re struggling with your repeat exams, or any exams at all, don’t be afraid to message your welfare officer and see what help you can avail of. Don’t suffer in silence during exams, and even if you can’t study, you can try to make things a little bit easier on yourself. You deserve it!

Thank you to Rebekah Humphries for her article 🙂

Filed Under: Daughters, Fathering, Kids Health, Sons

Becoming a new parent or DAD again

01/12/2016 By DO Leave a Comment

Being a parent for the first time is exciting but it comes with responsibilities and part of that responsibility is making sure your child grows up in a safe yet still stimulating environment so they can develop to their maximum potential. One of the best ways to ensure safety is to take time every few weeks, to view our home from your child’s perspective. To that end, you might like to get down on their level, literally! Start crawling around your home to see where potential dangers might be – it’s amazing what you come across on the floor, including dropped medication, sharp corners and unplugged electrical sockets- accidents waiting to happen! Below is a step by step guide on how to childproof your home depending on child’s age, development and needs.

The New Born Stage

When you bring your newborn home from hospital, it is a “getting to know each another phase” for you all. The baby’s room, or nursery is the first room to organise and have ready, when your baby arrives! First up, never, ever leave a baby alone without parental supervision. It’s as simple as that. Make sure your child is within earshot when they are sleeping. Another piece of invaluable advice is to not over fold baby blankets when they are sleeping and resting – they can overheat quickly that way.

The Baby Stage

Seek out danger and take preventative measures to ensure your young children are safe at home, every day. An investment in blind cord wind-ups or wraps (pictured) from the beginning is very worthwhile, and are easily installed (a perfect “dad” job). On a serious note, they keep blind cords out of the reach of babies in their cots and from older siblings in general. Over-long cords can lead to strangulation. And remember to move cots and beds away from windows and window fittings whenever possible.

Night time

For night time action, a night light is good to have on, one that is not too bright, so you can keep an eye on your sleeping baby, it is also very handy for all those middle of the night feeds, changes and daddy cuddles too!

The Waddler and Toddler Stage

As your baby grows and becomes more mobile (and curious), safety around the home is impetrative! Key rooms to keep safe are the kitchen and living areas. A good job for all new dads is to ensure your house is ready for your baby when he/she becomes mobile. Young babies and children are very inquisitive and learn through repeated observation. Invest in a few child safety locks. By using a variety of different locks and latches that work in different ways, it becomes harder for young children to work out how to open them. Also, make sure you have the right lock or latch for each cupboard depending on the type of handle. Dreambaby® have a huge range of locks and latches to suit your home and needs. Remember to cover all power points around you home too!

Bathroom Safety

In the bathroom ensure your bath tub is non-slippery, and there is a suitable baby bath to assist with bathing of your baby. Always keep medicines out of the way of babies by keeping them up high in secured cupboards. Other necessities to have on hand are medicine droppers, a rapid response digital thermometer and last but not least, make sure baby’s nails are kept short. Use baby scissors or clippers (don’t tear nails or bite them off even if they are very soft). Babies often put their hands up to their faces and can scratch their corneas and cut their faces if their nails are overly long.

Equipment and Baby Investments

Make sure all your baby equipment, furniture including your cot and pram, meet government and industry standards. Try not to buy second hand if you can, as it is never easy to gage the wear and tear on items. Also check to see if screws are tightly secured, both when you set up equipment, and afterwards as things loosen along the way. For instance, safety gates need adjusting on a regular basis.

There is so much information available for new parents, it can be a very fast learning curve!

Enjoy these early years as a new dad, as everting will tell you, they grow up fast and it will all too soon, be a distant memory!

For further advise and tips, a visit to your Early Childhood Centre is a good start. Your GP and Paediatrician are also invaluable when it comes to questions about baby’s safety, healthy wellbeing. Also check out the Kidsafe website for general safety information and of course visit the Dreambaby® website for safety product suggestions and solutions or call (02) 9386 4000. And be part of the safety conversation: Dreambaby Safety Facebook page. For useful safety tips & advice from Dreambaby®, check out DreambabyTV

Filed Under: Fathering, Kids Health, New Dad

Since when are Dads not apart of a safety network?

23/06/2016 By DO Leave a Comment

Thanks to one of our active Dads that came across this poster and instantly felt uncomfortable with the underlying message being told to children. It was sent home with the kids from their school in Melbourne. The children were being taught “body safety” (great initiative) that if they feel uncomfortable, frightened, scared or nervous about a situation they have been put in, then talk to a person who is in their safety network? See the hand with 5 fingers and guess who is missing??

Shame on you principle for not ensuring part of the safety network included Dads i.e. Mum and Dad or simply parents.

Filed Under: Fathering, Kids Health, Parenting

Why we should say “No”

11/03/2016 By DO 1 Comment

If you’re not proud of it, don’t serve it.

If you can’t do a good job, don’t take it on.

If it’s going to distract you from the work that truly matters, pass.

If you don’t know why they want you to do this, ask.

If you need to hide it from anyone, reconsider.

If it benefits you but not the people you care about, decline.

If you’re going along with the crowd, that’s not enough.

If it creates a habit that costs you in the long run, don’t start.

If it doesn’t move you forward, hesitate then walk away.

The short run always seems urgent, and a moment where compromise feels appropriate. But in the long run, it’s the good ‘no’s that we remember.

On the other hand, there’s an imperative to say “yes.” Say yes and build something that matters.

Filed Under: Dads Health, Kids Health

Are we spoiling our kids’ with too much sugar?

02/03/2016 By DO Leave a Comment

We love to spoil our kids, and often sugar is used as a reward when they’re behaving well. Sugar is used in many foods to make them taste better. It’s contained in everything from the obvious, such as soft drinks, biscuits, lollies, and cakes, to the less obvious, such as bread, condiments, crackers, and even frozen dinners.

Unfortunately, the fascination with sugar can cause many detrimental health effects. It’s best to understand how it has a negative impact on our bodies first, and then work at slowly eliminating it from our daily lives.

Besides that old, but true saying, it rots your teeth, sugar actually contains no essential nutrients. It’s composed of a crystalline matrix, and unlike almost all other foods, has no vitamins, minerals, or essential amino acids. It does not contain any protein. If you choose to fill up on sugar, it can lead to deficiencies in the body. Sugar is processed from the sugar cane plant. In fact, if you ate sugar cane on its own, it would be far healthier. But it’s nearly impossible to find in the western world, except maybe as processed sticks, which aren’t so healthy either.

Besides the physical affects on the body, there are also the psychological effects too. Sugar can affect mood, and not in a good way. Sugar can work as an addiction on the body. Kids and dads may start craving sugar on a daily basis.

It’s all in the brain. When people eat sugar, the brain releases dopamine, from the accumbens region, which is a feel-good chemical. However, the more often you release this chemical through eating sugar, the shorter the effect can last. This is why the first night you and your child ate a few cookies, and then the next night you ate the whole bag. Harmless? Not over a long period of time.

Ironically, you can release dopamine during other times too, but the effects are healthier and last longer. For example, you can watch a funny movie with your kids, or you can take them to the park to play. These are healthier activities, and the brain knows the difference between an active lifestyle, and sugar.

You may have noticed how your kids can become hyper after eating sugar, and then shortly afterwards, they become cranky and moody. These are the negative effects of too much sugar.

So, how can you reduce sugar in a diet? Focus on more fruits, vegetables, and proteins. Fruits such as berries actually contain natural feel-good compounds, and have the same effect as sugar, except without the addiction or withdrawal symptoms. Switch out sugar for honey or agave syrup. These are natural sweeteners.

Now that you understand the detrimental qualities of sugar on your family’s bodies, you can begin to replace it with healthier choices. Letting the kids run off any extra energy outdoors can only help too.

Filed Under: Kids Health, Parenting

A game every child should learn

24/02/2016 By DO Leave a Comment

Mirror mirror on the wall
It doesn’t matter if I am short or tall
If I have skinny legs or my hips are wide
It only matters who I am inside
Blue eyes, brown eyes, black or green
What makes me most beautiful cannot be seen
When you look at me, don’t judge me by my parts
The most beautiful thing about me is inside my heart.

Filed Under: Kids Activities, Kids Health

Parents forcefully blocked from seeing kids could be abuse

10/11/2015 By DO 6 Comments

STOPPING parents from seeing their children could fall under the definition of child abuse if George Christensen gets his way.

The Federal Member for Dawson said he would lobby with Victorian independent Senator John Madigan to have the definition of child abuse widened to include parental alienation.

Mr Christensen said the current system for family law and child support was broken.

“My view is parental alienation is a form of child abuse,” he said.

“If one parent is cutting off the meaningful relationship with the other parent, unless they are violent, etc, then that is abuse.”

He said hundreds of constituents had come to him after the other parent had decided they were going to breach court orders and deny access to the child.

“Literally the only redress they have is to take the matter to court, which considering the fact many are also paying child support, is so costly it’s…

Read the full story here in the Daily Mercury…

Filed Under: Dads Health, Kids Health, Separation

Why are you being so rude to me…I dont know?

04/11/2015 By DO Leave a Comment

I’m learning very quickly about moody teenagers and trying to be tolerant, but I want to jump in a time machine and go forward 10 years because this is hell!
It seems like I cannot do or say anything that is right and any advise or solutions given feels like a lecture to them.

I understand that there are lots of hormones going on, our school had a night for year 7 parents and covered off areas around dealing with this change.

How to cope with teenage children:

Don’t buy into schoolyard arguments, the kids will work it out
Be a listener and be there but don’t try and solve their problems
Be encouraging and be there but let them work things out in there own time

Adults brains apparently have a hormone called THP which has a calming influence, In our teenagers this same THP heightens anxiety – of course it does 🙂 . I keep reminding myself they are going through many new experiences and having to cope with new challenges like: hormonal change, body changes, developing identity, pressure from friends, and a developing sense of independence.

I am sure they don’t like the moods either. I asked her once..

Why are you being so rude to me? She replied “I dont know”?

So I just left it and I understood she wasn’t meaning to be rude and she didn’t like it either. I could tell she knew it was wrong.

These reminders are my savior, Thank God there are times where she is calm, happy, respectful and loving otherwise I would go completely out of my mind! So I am just trying to roll with it, provide support and stability. Still setting ground rules for respect as I expect her to be respectful to all people. I pick my battles, remain calm and try to redirect the negative behaviour.

A couple of tips in this areas could be:

Pick your battles. If your teenager is basically behaving, ignore minor annoyances such as shrugs, raised eyebrows, or bored looks.
Sometimes, teens may be inadvertently disrespectful. (Again, their brains are developing.) Calmly ask about their intention — for example, “That comment came out sounding pretty offensive. Did you mean to behave rudely?

I know its a stage that lots of kids go through, she is a beautiful girl and has a kind warm heart. If she is rude and I do discuss it, I make sure I talk about the behaviour not the person. I’m always trying to affirm her worth as a person even as I explain why her behavior was unacceptable.

Through the next few years (OMG), I’ll always be involved and interested in her everyday life and be interested in her sport and activities. Even during the times when she is unlovable, I will still give hugs, words of praise, little note in her lunch box with words of love often, because they need it and want unconditional love to help them get through it.

I came across this YouTube video and it reminds me that sometimes they DON’T KNOW why they are being rude and we shouldn’t get upset or take it personally.