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Would you leave your front and back door open whilst your kids are at home?

Online preditorsKeeping our kids safe from online predators is something we all must be aware of. Once upon a time we would keep our kids safe by simply making sure the front and back door of our house was locked before they went to bed. Today, if your kids have any public profiles on sites such as: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, ooVoo, Snapchat, MSM Messenger, YouTube or Kick –  to name a few, then your front and back door is open 24/7. If you have kids that are using computers then we need to be knowledge up and prepared to understand what the risks are! There is no excuse for not understanding social media and the danger that it can bring to your child.

This video has a very clear and simple message and should be watched with you kids…

http://youtu.be/_o8auwnJtqE

Here are some tips to keep your kids safe online and points for discussion

  • Don’t post any personal information online – like your address, email address or mobile number.
  • Think carefully about posting pictures or video’s of your self.
  • Keep your privacy settings as high as possible.
  • Never give out your passwords
  • Don’t befriend people you don’t know.
  • Don’t meet up with people you’ve met online, speak to your parents or a trusted adult about people who suggest you do.
  • Remember that everyone online is not who they say they are.
  • Think carefully about what you say before posting it online.
  • Respect other peoples views, if you don’t agree with someone else’s views doesn’t mean you need to be rude.
  • If you see something online that makes you feel uncomfortable, unsafe or worried: leave the website, turn off the computer if you want to and tell your parent or a trusted adult.

Some ideas to staying safe at home

  • Keep the family computer in an open area such as the lounge, kitchen or a room where it can be monitored.
  • Understand the sites and technology your kids use and know who they are talking to.
  • Create a list of online “rules” with the family e.g. time limits, list of ok sites to visit.
  • Educate your kids so they not to give out personal details without parental knowledge.
  • Make sure your kids know what to do and where to go if they encounter cyber -bullying.
  • Regularly sit with your kids when they are online and look over there shoulder. Let them know you are keeping track of there online activity.
  • Talk about online risks and what to watch out for and how you can be tricked.
  • Reinforce positive behaviors and values in the online world.
  • Install software or services that can restrict, block or filter offensive websites.
  • We cant ignore technology, kids and teens will use them, if they are not using it at home then they may use it at a friends house or in the school yard? so the best course of action is to discuss openly and educate.

The best activities to do in the Australian summer

dadsonline_bbqAustralia has some of the hottest and most extreme summers in the world, and whether you’re a local or a passing tourist, getting out amongst it all during a hot day can be the furthest thing on your mind. However, there are plenty of things you can do outside that take full advantage of a hot summer’s day, and they all can give you great memories and ample relaxation time in between days off work, or whilst on holiday. If you need some ideas on what you can do the next time the temperature gets extreme, read on. Here are 5 activities that are fun and relaxing that you can do during those roasting Australian summers.

Go for a swim.

If you’d like to kill two birds with one stone (that is, get fit and cool down), going for a swim in your local pool, lake or beach is an excellent way to spend a hot summer’s day. Of course, make sure you only swim in safe areas – preferably watched over by a lifeguard or two. If you don’t yet know how to swim, learning how to during the sultry Australian summer is an ideal time to learn.

Have a BBQ

There’s probably nothing more quintessentially Australian than having a BBQ on a warm summer’s day. The sun, a snag and a beverage in hand seem to go so well together that for many Aussies, having a BBQ is the “go to” activity during summer. Don’t forget: BBQs are more fun the more people are involved, so invite your friends, family and neighbours over for the afternoon and make the most of your summer’s day. Head on over to Barbeques Galore for their huge range.

Go for a picnic.

Whether with that special someone, or the entire family, finding a little area of shade under a tree to have a picnic is a fine way to spend some time during the sometimes unrelenting Australian summer. Australia is bestowed with tons of great public parks, and making full use of them will give you the fresh air and relaxation you need amidst the burning sun above. Don’t forget to bring along a footy or soccer ball for a little bit of stimulation between quiet naps under the shady trees.

Go to the beach.

For many around the world, Australian summers are associated with our beautiful stretches of sandy beach, and the swimming and surfing our wonderful coastline provides. The next time the thermometer soars above 30 degrees, get some friends together and head on down to the beach for a day of sun, water and sand.Of course, make sure you apply plenty of sunscreen before you head out. And also make sure you only swim in designated swimming spots (and even then, only between the flags).

Watch a movie outdoors.

Imagine this: a blanket underneath, a special someone close by, and a massive movie screen in front – all set out in a lush botanical garden. Seeing a movie in many of the outdoor cinemas that spring up over the Australian summer can be a fun way to spend those hot and humid nights. There’s something about watching movies in the great outdoors, under the stars, and if you haven’t yet experienced what it’s like, you’re truly missing out. Sure you could watch a movie indoors, but that’s just boring now isn’t it!

Although you may not feel like doing anything when the mercury climbs into the high 30s, put on some shorts, grab a hat, and head outside. There are lots of activities out there just waiting for you – such as those suggested above – and all are almost guaranteed to give you a good time.

My family travel experience as a sole parent

Surin BeachTravelling for me (as a sole parent) has been something that has provided an enormous amount of pleasure for my daughter and I.

We can now share memories and life experiences across a myriad of destinations.

Together we have travelled to Bali, Thailand, Fiji , Perth as well as many local destinations like Hamilton Island, Gold Coast and Angelsea on the west coast of Victoria.

All locations were great and offered something special in their own way.  I felt Bali was like a small friendly community; Fiji was good if you just want to relax and hangout by the hotel pool and Thailand (Phuket) had better roads, infrastructure and amenities and the people were so warm and friendly.

If I had to choose one (1) destination for a single parent I would recommend Phuket in Thailand.

Our holiday in Phuket…

It was Christmas time and I’d planned for 6 months, I had been told that you may find it difficult to find accommodation if you dont book early.

First things was to find flights and accommodation, I used tripadvisor.com.au it was so easy, in fact the easiest part of the holiday. You can read reviews and make your own mind up on accommodation, restaurants and attractions within the area.

Buskorn wing of holiday inn phuketI chose the Buskorn wing at the Holiday Inn Phuket and flew with Jetstar.  I purchased the inflight entertainment prior to boarding as if you don’t pre book you can miss out (it’s a long flight without a movie or two)

 

dad and daughter time togetherI may have over spent on the accommodation but there are no regrets…. it was an incredible time for a dad and daughter! Buskorn wing at The Holiday Inn is a private part of the hotel, simply divine, relaxing and pure luxury.  I felt like it was not just a holiday for my daughter but a treat for myself too.

thailand motorcycle hireWe hired a motorbike and searched for great spots such as Surin beach.  My daughter is a little bit of a fussy eater; I found that Phuket had many suitable styles of cuisine i.e Italian, Mexican, Indian, Western etc. 

It definitely made meal times easier, I only had to convince her that it was clean and the food was within the ‘use by date’ 🙂

After dinner we would walk along the shopping strip, buy an ice cream, find a lantern seller on the beach and let our lantern go into the night sky while holding hands and making a wish.

thailand foot massageAfter a well earned foot massage we would retire to the hotel around 11pm then wake up to do it all again.

We had a morning ritual of breakfast in the poolside restaurant then an hour or so by the pool before heading out and sightseeing around Thailand.

thailand feeding elephantsWe found fun things to do like elephant riding through the jungle and jet skiing at Surin beach.

Hiring a banana lounge on the beach under a shady umbrella is around $2.50 AUD per day.  Loving it so much we went back 3 days in a row!!! 

There was a surin beach market foodmarket at the entrance of the beach selling fresh fruit and cold drinks, which made healthy snacking easy.

Time went quickly, we had 10 wonderful days together.  Skype was set up on my phone and her mum’s so they could keep in touch each day.

The flight home was easy, we tried to sleep or relax the whole journey.  I made sure we had the required things to keep her busy or relaxed for 9 hours, i.e pillow, Jetstar Video player, IPad, colouring book and pencils.  The IPod with her favorite songs was a winner, she was able to stretch out across me and relax.  I cant wait to continue our adventures this year, we have a local trip in Victoria planned for the next school holidays…..

More to learn from Bali than just sitting by the pool

bali oprhanage main roomTravelling with my daughter  to a destination such as Bali has been wonderful to relax and spend quality time together away from the stresses of every day life. Although Bali has beautiful hotels and resorts that cater specifically for people who want to sit by the pool or find a tranquil spot on a day bed under a plam tree. There is also some important learning’s we can bring back from Bali to help educate children on how lucky and well off we are.

bali orphanage-kidsI planned our whole trip online. We wanted to both relax but I also wanted to show my daughter a safe but different side of life so we visited an orphanage in Denpasar.  At the orphanage the children were cared for well, it was clean and spacious.

They seemed happy with their home and everyone pitched in to prepare meals and they look after the younger children very well.

bali orphanage buildingThe building is 3 storey’s high but at some stage must have been abandoned because the building looks unfinished. They have built rooms inside, and designated areas for meals, kitchen, music, schooling, dorm bedrooms for boys and girls and prayer. My daughter and I gathered up all her clothes that didn’t fit her any more and packed them into a large suitcase and carried them over to donate to the orphanage.
bali orphanage childrenYou get to sign your donation into the guest book. I went back a year later and donated more clothes and saw that many people visited and signed the book after me. Mostly donations of money. I recommend you visit this Orphanage with your kids and see for yourself the good they are doing for these children.

The name and address of the Orphanage is: Dharma Jati II AddressJI. Trengguli 80 Penatih Denpasar, Bali. They will make you welcome and show you around.

How to cope emotionally when your children want nothing to do with you.

How to cope emotionally when your children want nothing to do with youRejection is usually a difficult emotion to deal with for anyone. When it comes from your children, the pain can be unbearable. Depending on the circumstances in the family, such rejection can be all consuming for a father.

Keep a perspective can help in coping with rejection. The child’s attitude may not be forever. Also, there is usually a significant reason why they want to maintain a distance, at least from the child’s perspective, irrespective of what influences there are on the child. It helps to reflect on these reasons and if you can’t do it on your own without always becoming distressed or angry, then getting support from others, including professionals may be a helpful path. Regardless of any perceived injustice on you, your child will need your patience and respect, while maintaining an ‘open door’ policy to show them you are available, open minded and dependable.

Focus on your strengths as a father and make those strengths stronger. Look back over time and recall your achievements, recall the lessons you learnt from your father and mother, and what you have gained from other men and fathers you have known or read about. Improve who you want be as a dad. When the time comes for your child to want you back in, you’ll have even more to offer.

Fathers who pour energy into their mental, physical and emotional well being are also likely to be healthy men and fathers, who children will look up to and enjoy being with. The usual suspects apply, such as physical exercise, healthy eating, and keeping away from damaging drugs and alcohol abuse. Meditation can help in many ways, including increasing how well you tolerate stress, reduce your emotional reactivity, and increase your acceptance of changes beyond your control. Paying attention to your social network is also very important. Invest in new friendships and networks (clubs, groups, etc), and reinvest in old ones – it’s never too late.

There are also various support services available such as : self-help groups and telephone counselling services for men, as well as group programs which focus on fathers and separation. Check the links available on this website.

For some fathers, professional support may be necessary if implementing some of these suggestions is difficult or if extra specialist help is needed. If so, you may wish to have a look at http://www.vcps.com.au/ .

By Dr Cherine Habib
Clinical Psychologist and Father.
Victorian Counselling and Psychological Services

3 Places in Sydney Your Kids are Sure to Love

I have to tell you I am biting my fingernails down to the quick trying to narrow this list down to three. There are just so many super fun things for kids to do in Sydney. There are animals galore and so many beautiful parks and playgrounds. Some of which adjoin the amazing beaches.  I want to give a little shout out to the museums as they didn’t make the list this time but it was a hard choice not to include them. Many of them have some truly fabulous interactive exhibits that kids really enjoy. I’d highly recommend giving them some consideration when you are tossing up what you would like to do.

Taronga Zoo

What can I say…it’s a damn fine zoo. It has lions and tigers and giraffes and you can get right up close to some of those gorgeous creatures (closer to the giraffes than the lions and tigers for some reason). The zoo is nothing short of splendid and the kids love it.  There are a few elephant calves rockin’ around the place at the moment too so go check them out for some uber cuteness.

Are You As Bored As Me?

The animal encounters are really cool. My favourite is feeding the giraffe and tell me what kid wouldn’t like doing that! They give you a photo as part of the cost. It’s a bit of a favourite so book it first thing when you arrive at the zoo.

Hot tip: You can get to the zoo by ferry direct from Circular Key. There are some discounted ferry + zoo passes that are worth checking out. Or if it is a Sunday you can get the Family Funday transport ticket for $2.50 per person (kids under 5 travel free). This allows you transport on all public buses, trains and ferries all day. What a bargain!

Sydney Aquarium

There are big sharks floating about above you and you can see them up close. What’s not to like? Basically the main exhibit here is a big clear tunnel that you wander through where everywhere around you is ocean.  You can stand and watch all the lovely sea creatures, like sharks and sting rays, going about their business all day if you want to. Just make sure you let people past as some of them may want to see other things.

It is incredible and kids love love love it.

The other exhibits are very good too. Kids love the tropical fish one and can spend ages hanging around trying to find Nemo.

Hot tip: don’t wander up and pay full price at the door! You will save save save if you book online. There are also some great options like family afternoon passes offering a significant discount. Check their website for details.

Clovelly Beach

Clovelly pool - view from the beach

In truth you could go to any beach and that would be fun but Clovelly Beach is perfect for families with young kids. It is a small waveless beach that is much more like an ocean pool.  The snorkelling is fabulous so don’t forget to pack one!  There’s always a tonne of other kids down there so plenty of new friends for your little ones to play with.   You can take your own snacks but if you can’t be bothered with packing a heap of stuff then the grub at the cafe is pretty good.

Hot tip:  If you go during the week this beach will be much quieter.  Buses run from the city to Clovelly, in Sydney’s east, quite regularly. If you travel on a Sunday then you can get the super cheap Family Funday ticket for $2.50 per person (kids under 5 travel free).

 

Kristy Alexander is a freelance travel writer for HotelClub and busy mum of three with a passion for the outdoors. She recommends the Mercure Sydney if you are looking for a conveniently located hotel close to the hub of Sydney’s public transport.

Dads tribute tattoo’s

There are so many reasons dads get tattoos, and probably the single biggest reason is to mark the birth of our children or as a tribute to them.  If you’re considering a tattoo, have you thought about what design? Here are some tips to help you make the right choice.

Don’t just clone what you see on TV or what some movie star or football player has on their arm, it’s you that is going to wear the design.  Do plenty of research before deciding what to get i.e. what style and how it relates to the reason.  Then go looking for the best artist for that style who will make it fit and translate it.

This really is the first step in the process of getting a tattoo.  It is also probably the hardest step. When you are choosing your tattoo design, you should take a few things into consideration.  The location on your body, the size, the style and colouring, and the meaning. Then think carefully about the location? If you are planning to have your first tattoo placed in a very visible place on your body (like fore-arms, calves, ankles, neck, etc.) you may want to consider, would it be appropriate for your work etc?

The experts say – It’s an idea to keep it clean and classic.  Don’t put too much detail in a small area, or mix genres i.e. dragons with roses and someones name on top of it.  You want it to represent love, beauty and commitment not a mess of different messages.

Then go searching for a good artist that can make it all happen.

What designs are dads getting? Check out these 20 cool dad tattoos here and for celebrity tribute tattoos –  see some of those tattoos here

 

People who say they slept like a baby, usually dont have one!

Dad sleeping peacefullyMost dads need about 8½ to more than 9 hours of sleep each night.  But about 1 in 4 dads has trouble sleeping.  Lack of sleep can affect everything from our emotions to how well we focus on juggling all the things we need to do as a parent.  It can affect our mood and increase our chances of getting sick.

How do we get to sleep?  Here are a few ideas:

  1. Be active during the day. You’ve probably noticed how much running around our kids do — and how soundly they sleep. Let’s take a tip from them and try to get at least 60 minutes of exercise a day.  Physical activity can decrease stress and help people feel more relaxed.  Just don’t work out too close to bedtime because exercise can wake you up before it slows you down.
  2. Avoid alcohol. Lots of people think that alcohol will make them relaxed and drowsy, but that’s not the case.  Drugs and alcohol disrupt sleep, increasing a person’s chance of waking up in the middle of the night.
  3. Say goodnight to electronics. Experts recommend using the bedroom for sleep only.  If you can’t make your bedroom a tech-free zone, at least shut everything down an hour or more before lights out.  Nothing wakes us up quicker than a buzz or a ping of your mobile phone.
  4. Keep a sleep routine. Going to bed at the same time every night helps the body expect sleep. Creating a set bedtime routine can enhance this relaxation effect.  So unwind every night by reading, listening to music, playing Sudoku, or doing anything else that relaxes you.
  5. Expect a good night’s sleep. Stress can trigger insomnia,  so the more you think about not sleeping, the greater the risk you’ll lie awake staring at the ceiling.  Instead of worrying that you won’t sleep, remind yourself that you can.  Say, “Tonight, I will sleep well” several times during the day.  It can also help to practice breathing exercises or gentle stretches before bed.
  6. Be talked into sleep through guided meditation. This is a powerful method of finding sleep. Simply find a guided meditation track that you like and listen to it when your ready for sleep.  We spoke recently on this topic here.