Fathering Archives - Page 3 of 7

Dads Equality

27/08/2017 By DO Leave a Comment

I’d like to talk about Dad’s Equality, equality seems to be the topic of the year so why not include dads?

I have been thinking about all the things that greats mums do and all the things great dads do and I am racking my brain to find anything that good mums do better?

Of course there is – Child birth and breast feeding, you can have that! But part from those two things I cant think of anything else?
Dad’s are a 50/50 equal part of their child’s life so lets go through the list of tasks that Dads can do equally as well as mums…

Dads can absolutely

Wake the kids up and get them out of bed for breakfast
Prepare & Cook dinner
Wipe down the kitchen benches
Make beds
Clean the kitchen
Put a load of washing on
Make breakfast for everyone
Pack dishwasher or wash up
Get child/children to brush teeth
Hang out a load of washing
Help the children to get ready for bed
Read bedtime stories
Make the lunch boxes
Help child/children with hair
Vacuum & sweep the floors
Pay the household bills on time
Help child/children get dressed
Check for any school paperwork
Attend parent teacher interviews
Remind family of the day’s appointments
Get the children to have a bath
Take child/children to school in the morning
Put shoes and clothes away
Take the kids to the doctors or dentist
Read with our children
Put out school uniform and shoes
Tidy up the toys from that day
Wash dishes and put them away
Address any homework that needs doing that evening
Pick child/children up from school at the end of their day
Feed the pets
Pack child/children’s school bags
Pack bag for work
Write in the children’s homework books
Put on the slow cooker/defrost something for tea
Remind the children about good behaviour for the day
Prepare an after school snack
Ferry child/children to appropriate clubs
Unpack the dishwasher
Split up any arguments
Rinse out water bottles
Test children on homework
Know who their friends are?
Talk about what was great about their day
Talk about what was challenging
We spend time in knowing our child
We can love and nurture, care and provide equally as well as any good mother.

What are some of the things you do as a great dad?

Something to think about and hold your head up high, …have a great day!

Filed Under: Fathering

Equality Vs Power and Control

11/06/2017 By DO 3 Comments

There has been so much effort over the last few years in trying to curb men’s behavior when it comes to violence in the home. There will be much more work done in this area and anyone that thinks that using violence is ok should think again.

I have always wondered want benefits are there for using violence? The costs outway the benefits one thousand fold such as, loosing relationships, loosing children, shame, guilt, financial costs, self asteem, trust, employment, self respect and more…

The government is putting millions of dollars in communication and training more facilitators to help retrain these men on how to behave respectfully and in a non violent way to keep their family safe. This course is called the “Mens Behavioural Change Program” or MBCP.

Men will buy a ticket on this train (course) if they are brought to the attention of the Police or Courts, it will be made mandatory for many. I have even heard that the men’s wife have said unless they correct their behavior they will leave them and the relationship will end. These men sign up for the course voluntary to help save their relationship.

Family Violence can take on the form of many behaviours, if you were unsure about your own behaviours in the home, let’s look at FAMILY VIOLENCE ACT 2008 – SECT 5

Meaning of Family Violence:

Behaviour by a person towards a family member of that person if that behaviour

is physically or sexually abusive
is emotionally or psychologically abusive
is economically abusive
is threatening
is coercive
in any other way controls or dominates the family member and causes that family member to feel fear for the safety or well-being of that member or another person
unlawfully depriving a family member of the family members liberty or threatening to do so
causing or threatening to cause the death of, or injury to, an animal, whether or not the animal belongs to the family member to whom the behaviour is directed to as to control, dominate or coerce the family member

Behaviour by a person that causes a child to hear or witness, or otherwise be exposed to the effects of, behaviour refereed to in the above points.

Examples:

overhearing threats of physical abuse by one family member towards another family member
seeing or hearing an assault of a family member who has been physically abused by another family member
comforting or providing assistance to another family member who has been physically abused by another family member
cleaning up a site after a family member has intentionally another family members property
being present when police officers attend an incident involving physical abuse of a family member by another family member

To remove doubt – It is declared that behaviour may constitute family violence even if the behaviour would not constitute a criminal offence.

There is a huge difference between Anger and Violence. Anger is an emotion and Violence is a behaviour that is completely unacceptable and there is never an “ok” time to use it in the home on family members.

Violence comes from POWER and CONTROL, see below the 8 categories that constitute family violence

The Men’s Behavioural Change Programs is for men who want to stop using violence in the home and concentrates on teaching skills and providing tools to treat their family members with EQUALITY. See below the EQUALITY wheel that every family member deserves to feel.

Ifyou know you are using any type of violence, intimidation or coercion in the home, please get help.

Google MBCP nearest you. Some of the organisations that provide MBCP are:

Relationships Australia
Heavy M.E.T.A.L Program
FamilyCare
Lifeworks
Anglicare

Also call the following help lines that can talk about it with you and assist you in finding help:

Mens Referral Service 1300766491
Lifeline 131114
MensLine 1300789978

Or send us a message and we will assist in locating a program nearest you

Filed Under: Children, Dads Health, Fathering, Kids Health, Parenting

19 things I wish I had of known that could have saved my marriage

23/04/2017 By DO Leave a Comment

I remember standing at the alter listening carefully to the minister say the following words because I believed them to be true, not quiet realizing the amount of effort it would take from both sides to make them work and go the distance.

Those classic words

I, ____, take you, ____, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law, and this is my solemn vow.

And then your bride would repeat

I, ____, take you, ____, to be my husband to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law, and this is my solemn vow.

Well that was the plan….

Since then, divorce and separation touched my life, costing me relationships, work opportunities, money, loss & grief of not fathering my children day to day and mental health in some degree.

I am a strong believer in having pre-marriage counseling. We did attend a session with the church minister but it was very soft in the topics covered. None of the home truths were discussed or any of the tough questions that could prove to be a relationship killer. It was all simply a “tick the box” by the church minister and a process we needed to follow before he would marry us.

Its critical that couples go into serious relationships or relationships that will produce children with knowledge and their eyes WIDE OPEN!

The things I wish we had of known but know now:

You will both need to work at fulfilling your vows to make your marriage last.
The strength of your love needs to be there from the start and not based simply on surface looks. It must come from a deeper place
There will be times that your relationship will feel lost but love each other enough to be patient and ride the storm because the good times do come back.
The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence, work at watering your own grass and it will stay green
Can you imagine growing old with this person, will they be there for you?
You will need to bite your tongue. When you argue, spend some time alone if necessary to cool down so you don’t use hurtful language
Allow each other times to be in-charge, in all aspects of the relationship
If you feel your partner doesn’t want to talk about an important issue, be patient, they’ll come around
Marriage can get boring, look for the little things every day that you are grateful for
No one is perfect, expect stupidity, absent mindfulness and never perfection
You partner is different from the other relationships you have, nurture it and make it extra special
It will take both of you to be feel easy and relaxed with no restrictions or judgments
If you feel your partner is controlling & aggressive i.e. physically or emotionally – it wont work
Allow each other to have their down times and quiet times. We all need to rest and recharge
Look to always serve your partner, every little thing you do for each other makes for a happier marriage and builds resilience
Continue to look after each other when you have children. The kids will be gone one day and you will be back to the two of you again, nurture it
It is important that you are both working at it, it can not work if you are the only one
There will be times you need to care for each other and step up when things get tough…and they will
Its normal to question the strength of your relationship when things are tough, you both need to be patient and acknowledge it will get better

It’s never to late to modify behavior. What are some of the things you’ve found helpful in maintaining a healthy long-term relationship?

Filed Under: Dads Health, Fathering, Separation

The secret for an argument free zone

13/03/2017 By DO 1 Comment

I always wondered when the debating of simple tasks and requests would start or unnecessary attitude, i can tell you its around 10-12 then buckle up at 13+.
Prior to that, they are beautiful pliable sweethearts that allow you to guide them, take them and pick them up from anywhere and they follow instruction without question (their still beautiful).

Now is chalk and cheese, its another stage that will pass and we will eventually move on… but boy, it can be frustrating, stressful, challenging and hair pulling crazy (if I had any) during those years. I have experienced lying straight to my face over the simplest things, not taking responsibility for actions like loosing keys, public transport cards and keeping their room tidy. We know that teenagers go through a growing up phase and test their weight and Independence with parents.

They do this knowing that the worst thing that will happen is they get a verbal telling off or loose there phone privileges for a day, all pretty soft punishment and i imagine in their mind not enough to curve the behavior?

I think when kids start questioning parents they are trying to figure out what is right and what is wrong because they are starting to become a little more knowledgeable in the world. Although very annoying and frustrating for us parents, its important to remember to keep our composure (don’t fight rudeness with rudeness or yelling with yelling), remind them of the boundaries and politeness they need to show other people and don’t bite back.

I would always keep on carrying out consequences such as reduced time for TV, Loose mobile phone/iPad usage, Early to bed and let them know this will happen if it continues so there are no surprises when it does.

A tip for a argument free zone, is, I do not expect 100% good behavior during these years (it’s about your expectation). I accept 80%, so during these years they can have their own room 20% messier than normal (nowhere else) 20% more attitude without being disrespectful, 20% more moody and they can have that in the quiet of their own bedroom. It takes the pressure off everyone because I feel if we are looking for perfection you will not find it anywhere and it will cause ongoing arguing, so just give them a little slack.

I was told once that everything we do for our children should be a gift. We should not expect anything in return! i.e. we should not expect good behavior because we cook, wash and clean for them. If you expect this then don’t do it. Do these things for them out of love.

Its always a great idea to explain what is acceptable and its a discussion you will not only have once...When your beautiful child says ? Get off my back! or Shut up!? they have often heard it said on their favorite TV shows or possibly from the friends they’re hanging around with. So be clear about what is and isn’t okay. Tell them, it’s fine to say that she’s angry or tired, for instance, or that she doesn’t feel like talking at the moment. But name-calling, yelling, or telling you to go away is unacceptable.

So there is no need to throw the towel in, its important that your kids know that you will always be in the game regardless of their behavior. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it will arrive sometime around 18+. Our kids feel the freedom they have been craving. They are getting into full or part-time work, going to Uni, getting their license and feel what its like to have more independence. So turning human again at 18 plus is not to far away for some but for others it feels like a million years 🙂

Its important you don’t let the outburst episodes eat into you, remember its a phases and a time that will pass so don’t buy into the terrible behavior. Roll with it, respond calmly and be kind to yourself even if others aren’t being kind to you. Self-care is critical during these year, treat yourself, find peaceful time away from the kids, talk to a counsellor. Do what ever it take to stay in the game without dissolving your relationship with your child because its not personal, its very normal and happening across millions of homes.

Its a stage like all others stages of growing up and they are completely aware of it too (It’s not easy for them either). Love them unconditionally and be as tolerant as possible, the stage will pass.

Filed Under: Dads Health, Daughters, Fathering, Kids Health, Sons

xox when they need rescuing

05/03/2017 By DO Leave a Comment

I recently read an article about having an TEXT word if your children are ever in a spot they feel that they can’t get out off and need “rescuing”.

The article was very good but the plan they were using was called the X Plan. The idea was to send an “X” if they needed an out to a situation they found themselves him.

The issue with an X is that if I got this during the night I would just think my daughter was sending me a kiss. I wouldn’t jump out of bed, and head to rescue her, I would probably just send back a “x”.

The idea behind this methodology is to keep your children safe if they feel they are out of their depth or find themselves in a spot they can’t get out of.

I spoke to my daughter about these situations you could find yourself in, such as:

Being with a group of boys that you feel are not respecting you or your girlfriends
Being offered drugs and the people you are with are not accepting no
People you are with are drinking more than you feel comfortable with
The boy you are with wants to have sex and he is not accepting no
You’re in a aggressive situation and feel you cant leave on your own
Have found yourself with strangers and you feel uncomfortable with them for any reason
You feel trapped and find it difficult to get way from any harmful situation

I also discussed to be assertive and confident with your decisions but if that is not working then you need to send me a sms with XOX (a little like SOS). This is a safe-plan and using some letters that she would not normally use. I get all the x’s but never a xox, so we decided that was a good sms. You work out the best sms code that work for you too 🙂

If and when I received an sms, I would call the her phone immediately and say…

Hi, Something has happened with a family member and I need to come and get you. I will tell you more about it when you are in the car. Where are you, I am on my way.

If the location is not the location I was expecting her to be, I am happy for her to tell me as little or as much as she wants to. I am just happy that she is away from a situation she believed was harmful.

Filed Under: Children, Daughters, Fathering, General posts & comments, Parenting, Sons

Poll: What do you want to know?

11/02/2017 By DO 2 Comments

Dads Online is about to turn 5. Since the beginning we have written about many topics. I remember the early days we were all about: connecting with your children after absence, When you just cant be there, Parenting plans, Dads have feelings too, ways to make your child feel secure, What to say to the kids, The first night alone, When you have to visit the ex, Travel games, Being happy alone, Making chocolate crackles plus 100’s more.

There is so much more to talk about but I want to make sure that I am answering questions and concerns that are important to you.

Below is a survey I would love for you to be apart of. Select the area’s of’ importance to you and we will provide tips and information that will benefit us all. If you have a topic that is not mentioned please contact us or enter it into “other” on the poll and let us know.

Filed Under: Activities, Fathering, Lifestyle, Meals, Separation, Some Fun

The importance of encouraging good oral hygiene at both homes

23/01/2017 By DO Leave a Comment

When kids have two homes their regular routines can often go out the window; one parent may well be more likely to allow more TV time than the other, for example, or prefer eating out to cooking at home. However one routine that it’s important doesn’t get lost during the change-over process is teeth cleaning and good oral hygiene, particularly amongst younger children. The noticeable long term habits of having a good teeth cleaning routine mean it’s worth the effort of establishing good habits now, even if your children are reluctant. Here are some hints and tips for encouraging good oral hygiene, and helping your kids form healthy dental habits that will last a lifetime:

Provide Help and Support

Many parents believe that simply providing access to a toothbrush and toothpaste is enough to encourage good oral hygiene habits, but in reality you need to be much more involved than that. Dental experts recommend that you should physically brush and floss your child’s teeth for them until they are at least six years old (and have the coordination skills to competently and consistently tie their own shoe laces). You should clean their teeth for them for at least two minutes every morning before breakfast and every evening before bedtime, using a fluoride based toothpaste and an age appropriate tooth brush. Once you have cleaned their teeth for them, encourage your child to then brush their teeth independently for another minute: this will build their confidence and encourage them to develop the skills they will need when they are old enough to brush their teeth independently. Once your child is over the age of six you should still supervise their teeth cleaning, to ensure they are brushing regularly and with good technique

Have Everything You Need in Your Home

When kids are switching from one home to the other it’s easy for things to be left behind, however if they forget their toothbrush this could give them the excuse their looking for to have an extended break from teeth cleaning. Given the equipment needed for good dental practice is so inexpensive, why not have everything they need permanently in your home? Buy them a tooth brush, tooth paste, and dental floss that they have constant access to. Why not take them shopping and let them choose their own? Toothbrushes are now available in a wide range of colours, designs, and even featuring their favourite cartoon characters, which could help to make teeth cleaning time a little more fun.

Model Good Habits

Children learn their behaviours by watching their parents and modelling on them, so it’s important to practice what you preach. Clean your teeth thoroughly morning and night, and take care of your smile. Why not clean your teeth at the same time as your child’s, so that you can form the healthy habit together? Whilst regular dentist visits can be expensive, particularly if you don’t have dental coverage, it’s important that you visit the dentist regularly and that you take your child to the dentist regularly too. Dentist trips are no fun for anyone, and your child is likely to be reluctant and apprehensive, but it is the best way of ensuring your child better understands the importance of taking care of their teeth, and of dealing with any dental problems as soon as they arise.

Talk About What Will Happen If They Don’t Brush

It can be difficult to deal with a reluctant tooth brusher, and most parents don’t relish the thought of having to hold down their distressed child so they can brush their teeth, so finding other strategies to encourage good oral hygiene is preferable. Talk to your child about cavities and tooth decay, explaining how germs will affect their smile and that once teeth have been damaged by decay they cannot be repaired: if your child is a visual learner then showing them some images of damaged smiles and decayed teeth online might well help to drive your message home. Good oral hygiene is a lifelong habit that needs to be formed as soon as possible, so it’s important to use whatever tools you have in your armoury to get your child brushing every day.

Filed Under: Dads Health, Fathering, Kids Health, Parenting

Managing depression whilst studying

03/01/2017 By DO Leave a Comment

Depression gets a bad rap for a lot of things, which to be fair is pretty reasonable because living with depression is pretty shit. Especially when it comes to exam time, and everyone seems to be bragging about how much study they’ve done, and you can’t even get the energy to make a study plan. This can be ten times worse for repeat exams, as everyone is out enjoying the summer, and you’re at home just staring at your laptop and praying for motivation to fall from somewhere.

Depression plays havoc with your concentration levels, affecting your focus, memory and the ability to sit still and pay attention to something for more than 5 minutes. Or at least, that’s how I find it. Sometimes I get bursts of motivation and I can bring myself to study for a decent half hour, but even then it isn’t easy. Making revision plans doesn’t work, trying to avoid distractions is just a ridiculous suggestion and time is pretty hard to manage because depression is hard to manage, and it doesn’t always abide by time schedules or deadlines.

I used to be really good at studying, I love learning and since I’ve become affected by depression, the thing I’ve struggled with most is not being able to study. I feel lazy, and ungrateful, and despite how hard I worked to get into college in the first place, I feel like by not being able to study, I’m wasting my college place, and all the money that has been spent on it. Depression affects your ability to enjoy the things you used to love doing, so it’s blatantly obvious that it’ll do even more to the things that you know you have to do, but you might not enjoy. Due to this, I don’t enjoy a lot of stuff that I used to do, so when I find things I like, I tend to do them instead of studying. Procrastination is a massive part of my life, and I have wasted so many hours watching Geordie Shore and H2O: Just Add Water, instead of sitting down and going over notes.

I’m repeating exams that I failed because I was in a rough enough place when I took them, and I just didn’t have the spare energy to study, and now I’m back in the same situation. I think there’s a massive amount of pressure on people to go to university and graduate with a decent degree, and when people fail exams, the typical response is “Get your head down, and cop on”. It’s hard for people to understand living with depression if they have never had to, and so some people don’t get how difficult it can be for people with mental illnesses to actually “get their head down”. Studying is hard for most people, and exams are a rough time for everyone, so with added pressure, it’s ten times worse.

Sometimes I wish I could just be accepted into next year without having to study, because I love my degree, and I wouldn’t be able to afford repeating the year. I know I’m not the only one struggling, and I would love it if we were all a bit more honest on social media. It’s natural for us all to compare what we see on Facebook, where people show off their best sides, but every once in a while it would be nice to see some honesty, especially when it comes to things that most of us will deal with. I’m very open about my struggles with anxiety, but sometimes I’m almost embarrassed to talk about my depression, which is ridiculous.

It’s healthy to talk, and many people in Australia suffer from depression, so you won’t be the only one talking.

We have some of the highest suicide rates in the world. The conversation has been repeated so many times, and we made some incredible strides fighting against the mental health cuts in the budget this year, but we need to do more. As difficult as it is, I think we need to talk more about our feelings. It’s even harder for guys to talk about their feelings because of the ridiculous stereotypes surrounding masculinity and emotions. Suicide rates in young men between ages 18 and 24 is 3 times higher than females. Having depression, or other mental health problems are not something to be ashamed of. If you don’t have any mental health problems, that doesn’t make you any less entitled to speak up if you’re having a bad day. It can sometimes be totally isolating, and you deserve to have someone to talk to.

There are many supports for mental health problems in universities, so if you’re struggling with your repeat exams, or any exams at all, don’t be afraid to message your welfare officer and see what help you can avail of. Don’t suffer in silence during exams, and even if you can’t study, you can try to make things a little bit easier on yourself. You deserve it!

Thank you to Rebekah Humphries for her article 🙂

Filed Under: Daughters, Fathering, Kids Health, Sons

Some Dads are not waking up to their children this Christmas

19/12/2016 By DO 1 Comment

Sadly, I know too many people to whom this applies (including myself once). I have cried with memories of what this time used to be for me and how it was filled with such love and happiness – for some dads times like these bring back memories of the reality of emptiness and sadness.

So I would like to remind you that there are people for whatever reason are not looking forward to Christmas.

Some people are not surrounded by wonderful families or wake up to their children on Christmas morning (we used to but life has changed).

Some have problems during the holidays and are overcome with great sadness when we think about our sons or daughters who are not with us.

This also applies to the elderly who find them-self without their children, family or friends. And, many of these people are besieged by loneliness. They all need caring and our loving thoughts right now.

To all those who have family problems, are elderly and alone, having health struggles, job issues or worries of any kind and just need to know that someone cares – we do and our hearts and thoughts are with you.

Take care & best wishes xx

If you find yourself overwhelmed with feelings of sadness or loneliness, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 you don’t need to be alone.

Filed Under: Dads Health, Disabilities

Becoming a new parent or DAD again

01/12/2016 By DO Leave a Comment

Being a parent for the first time is exciting but it comes with responsibilities and part of that responsibility is making sure your child grows up in a safe yet still stimulating environment so they can develop to their maximum potential. One of the best ways to ensure safety is to take time every few weeks, to view our home from your child’s perspective. To that end, you might like to get down on their level, literally! Start crawling around your home to see where potential dangers might be – it’s amazing what you come across on the floor, including dropped medication, sharp corners and unplugged electrical sockets- accidents waiting to happen! Below is a step by step guide on how to childproof your home depending on child’s age, development and needs.

The New Born Stage

When you bring your newborn home from hospital, it is a “getting to know each another phase” for you all. The baby’s room, or nursery is the first room to organise and have ready, when your baby arrives! First up, never, ever leave a baby alone without parental supervision. It’s as simple as that. Make sure your child is within earshot when they are sleeping. Another piece of invaluable advice is to not over fold baby blankets when they are sleeping and resting – they can overheat quickly that way.

The Baby Stage

Seek out danger and take preventative measures to ensure your young children are safe at home, every day. An investment in blind cord wind-ups or wraps (pictured) from the beginning is very worthwhile, and are easily installed (a perfect “dad” job). On a serious note, they keep blind cords out of the reach of babies in their cots and from older siblings in general. Over-long cords can lead to strangulation. And remember to move cots and beds away from windows and window fittings whenever possible.

Night time

For night time action, a night light is good to have on, one that is not too bright, so you can keep an eye on your sleeping baby, it is also very handy for all those middle of the night feeds, changes and daddy cuddles too!

The Waddler and Toddler Stage

As your baby grows and becomes more mobile (and curious), safety around the home is impetrative! Key rooms to keep safe are the kitchen and living areas. A good job for all new dads is to ensure your house is ready for your baby when he/she becomes mobile. Young babies and children are very inquisitive and learn through repeated observation. Invest in a few child safety locks. By using a variety of different locks and latches that work in different ways, it becomes harder for young children to work out how to open them. Also, make sure you have the right lock or latch for each cupboard depending on the type of handle. Dreambaby® have a huge range of locks and latches to suit your home and needs. Remember to cover all power points around you home too!

Bathroom Safety

In the bathroom ensure your bath tub is non-slippery, and there is a suitable baby bath to assist with bathing of your baby. Always keep medicines out of the way of babies by keeping them up high in secured cupboards. Other necessities to have on hand are medicine droppers, a rapid response digital thermometer and last but not least, make sure baby’s nails are kept short. Use baby scissors or clippers (don’t tear nails or bite them off even if they are very soft). Babies often put their hands up to their faces and can scratch their corneas and cut their faces if their nails are overly long.

Equipment and Baby Investments

Make sure all your baby equipment, furniture including your cot and pram, meet government and industry standards. Try not to buy second hand if you can, as it is never easy to gage the wear and tear on items. Also check to see if screws are tightly secured, both when you set up equipment, and afterwards as things loosen along the way. For instance, safety gates need adjusting on a regular basis.

There is so much information available for new parents, it can be a very fast learning curve!

Enjoy these early years as a new dad, as everting will tell you, they grow up fast and it will all too soon, be a distant memory!

For further advise and tips, a visit to your Early Childhood Centre is a good start. Your GP and Paediatrician are also invaluable when it comes to questions about baby’s safety, healthy wellbeing. Also check out the Kidsafe website for general safety information and of course visit the Dreambaby® website for safety product suggestions and solutions or call (02) 9386 4000. And be part of the safety conversation: Dreambaby Safety Facebook page. For useful safety tips & advice from Dreambaby®, check out DreambabyTV

Filed Under: Fathering, Kids Health, New Dad

I don’t baby sit my kids, thats so 1970

25/11/2016 By DO Leave a Comment

Today men are Dads and not a pay check! Back in the old days dads went to work and mums stayed home to completely care for the kids. If mum had to go out, Dad would “baby sit” the kids. Those days are long gone.

I reckon things started to change between 1990 and 2000. The millennium was responsible for some great change and in particular Dads taking an equal role in caring and parenting their children.

Look into most homes today and you will see brilliant men parenting their children and keeping a home in order just as well as women do all whilst juggling work demands. You will see them making beds and putting half a dozen pillows in place LOL, doing the washing, vacuuming and cleaning the bathroom. They cook dinner, help with the children’s homework and organise the kids to get ready for bed.

Yes and go to bed exhausted! ring any bells 🙂 Morning comes and we are up making breakfast, preparing lunches and taking the kids to school. If you’re a separated dad their is no sharing the duties and it is definitely a juggle but completely doable. You just need to be intentional and very routine, if you’re co-parenting in the same house, duties can be obviously shared, tasks can be split and taken in turns.

Dads are paying attention! They make purchasing decisions across all categories in the home and Dads spend a lot of time online comparing prices in what are considered more ‘female’ categories. More than half of them read reviews of products and services and nearly as many share positive research results with friends. Dads are involved like they have never been before and we are continuing to step up and be equally responsible for parenting our children.

Just a day in the life of a normal Dad.

Filed Under: Fathering

How to be an active dad

09/10/2016 By DO Leave a Comment

Some Dads are hell busy with their work and can not or do not leave enough energy at the end of the day or week to spend quality time with their kids and important people in their life. They eventually put on weight and loose touch with a healthy life including spending time with people they love.

There are many Dads that can balance their work commitments. They maintain a fitness level so they can get out and enjoy everything that life has to offer and be the best version of a dad that they can be. Surely that is the better option?

To be an active dad, you need to ensure that you are leaving enough time in the week for you. As much as your work is important, so is your physical and mental health. Making sure that you allow time for this makes for a better time spent with your children, it makes for a better YOU.

The same scenario goes for when you are in the company of others. If you are tired or drained, you will not be able to give your 100%. But when you make yourself a priority in your life, your life becomes much more pleasurable and amazing. It’s important to ensure than you are taking care of your own needs. When you become the best version of yourself, your positive vibes spread like a wildfire to the people who are important to you. By doing this you are not only improving the lives of people around you, but also you are also maximizing your potential and happiness.

Some useful tips that help to make you an active dad:

Take your child out for a good walk, kick of the ball, fly a frizby, a bicycle ride
Make the time to do something your child love or something that gives your child joy and excitement.
Take out some time from your routine to relax. It doesn’t mean that you need long hours; even 20 minutes are enough to be relaxed.
Do yoga or meditation regularly. It will help strengthen your body and helps you feel better about your mood.
Exercise daily. Workout daily doesn’t mean that you need a gym membership and build a six-pack, but any small activity that makes your body moving is beneficial for you in staying active and fit.

When you are active you are more helpful to the people around you. When you prioritize your time and if you are able to spend the free time with your kids, you are actually creating memorable moments with your kids and taking a healthier part in their up bringing.

Self-care is not selfish – it is a commitment to yourself that makes you realize that if you want to be healthy and active with others you need to take better care of yourself.

Filed Under: Dads Health, Fathering, Kids Activities