Father’s day is approaching and it can be a difficult time for both Dads and their children. Some children may be too young or don’t acknowledge or remember to celebrate Fathers Day. Planning for both Mothers Day and Fathers Day should be included in any parenting plan right from the start. These celebratory days come around once a year and it is up to both parents to cover off the event and ensure the kids remember and care. If Dads don’t place any importance on Mother’s day then they can’t expect the children’s Mother to make Father’s day a priority either.
But when it works it’s great! Ideally it is great to have the kids the night before so you can wake up in the morning and start the day off well. If done correctly, their mother has arranged a gift for you (from them) so they feel they are giving and are involved in the celebration. Now this is best case scenario however we know that it does not happen for everyone.
Don’t forget that if for one reason or another you don’t have your kids on father’s day then “You CAN have your cake AND eat it too”
I have listed some coping strategies if Fathers Day is sad for you 🙁
Reduce your expectations
In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey encourages us to seek first to understand, and then seek to be understood. Take the pressure off and reduce your expectations of the day.
Accept that we all make mistakes
You are not perfect nor are children. We say the wrong things, they do the wrong things. But, to have a better relationship with our kids, we need to accept that they’re just kids. They have weaknesses, flaws…they’re not super people, and they’re certainly not perfect! Kids also need to accept the fact that dads are normal people too and are not perfect either.
Remember you are amazing!
You are amazing and believe it! Many conflicts arise when people try to change you into who they think you should be how you should act and what you should say. Instead of focusing on what you should do differently they should accept you for who you are. Accept your lifestyle choices, your personality quirks, and your past choices. Not just on Father’s day but every day of the year.
A message for your kids if they are being difficult
Your dad can’t always be who you want him to be. To have a better relationship with him – and to make Father’s Day less difficult – stop wishing he was different. Instead of holding on to unrealistic expectations, set new expectations that are based on reality. Fathers are who they are, and for your own sakes you shouldn’t expect more than they can give. Do you like who you are? If so, don’t blame your dad for his choices – you may need to thank him! Maybe his actions made you stronger, more resilient, and more successful. If you don’t like who you are, then you can find ways to work on a better version of yourself and learn to love and accept who he is.
Learn how to deal with “difficult people”
Find ways to roll with people’s personalities. There are many books and resources on how to deflect conflicts and unhappy situations. Read about boundaries, Google reference material, take workshops or classes about setting healthy boundaries with difficult people, and consider talking to a counsellor about the best coping strategies. Maybe you’ll never have a great relationship with your kids – but that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy.
16 Things to do on father’s day without the kids
- Find a good bar with large TV’s and enjoy the day watching sport and a few beers.
- See a movie or 2, if possible do Gold Class and spoil yourself
- Have a 2 hour massage
- Go out for lunch or coffee with a friend
- Organise a BBQ and cook your favorite meal
- Go to a sports game
- Check out the latest movies on Foxtel or TBox or Netflix
- Grab a rod and go fishing
- Read a book and don’t get out of bed until noon
- Go for a long country motorcycle ride or drive
- Spend some time in the gym
- Head out on your pushbike and ride some paths
- Spend a few undisturbed hours at Bunnings planning your next DYI project
- Take your camera and do a photo walk through your city
- Find a good bush walking track and walk for a couple of hours
- Just go and just DO
WHAT IF A FATHER WAS A GOOD FATHER TO HIS 2 STEP KIDS ? HE DID MORE THAN THEIR OWN DAD BUT YET THEY HATE THEIR STEP DAD FOR NO REASON?